teriw Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 I remember some time back when I would be sitting at the computer reading and writing on this site. I would never come in the grieving section, because I frankly couldn't deal with it. I'm amazed at those who are fighting who do come here to offer support. And I thank you. This is the creepy bit. I remember sitting here, with Bill downstairs or in the next room, or even here next to me. I would think, "there's potentially going to come a time when I'm sitting here, Bill is gone, and I AM in the grieving section." It freaked me out then, and it's kind of doing it now. Perhaps because I've been reading Bill's old posts -- when we were just starting the fight. We had hope, despite the odds. I SO hoped to never be hanging out "down" in the grieving section, but I'm so thankful it's here. Did anyone else do this? I think I'm still struggling with the finality of it all. I do okay -- pretty good actually -- when I live in the moment. The minute I allow "the future" to worm it's way in, POW! It hits me -- Bill is GONE. I know I'll see him when I pass -- I KNOW it. I know he's alive and with God in his HEALTHY body. But I won't ever share a cup of coffee with him on our patio, I won't hear him call Mrs. Dickens in that silly voice he'd use, I won't get another birthday card, we won't get to do all those things we wanted to do together. That sucks. Sorry to be depressing on a Sunday night... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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