kamataca Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 I can almost get to the point of dealing with my own grief, but I am wrecked by my kids' struggles. My 13 year-old daughter has been having a very tough week. She just had a physical last month, so I don't believe there is anything physically wrong with her, but she keps having 'breathing problems' and feeling dizzy. She tells me she thinks she is having panic attacks, and she is afraid she will stop breathing. Last night she was crying in bed, and told me that, although she knows it is ridiculous, she is afraid she will stop breathing in her sleep, and no one will know. The last time Tay saw Mom, mom was unconscious and struggling to breathe. Is that part of her fear? I thought we were helping the kids by letting them say good-bye, but what if it was too traumatic for her psyche? Next week I am taking her back to her dr. for confirmation that she is physically OK, and I have brought up the idea of counseling to her, to help her calm herself down when she is so afraid. Then, also last night, I went in to check on my ten-year old son after he had been in bed for an hour. He was awake, and seemed upset. He finally told me that he had just had a dream about Grandma. The gist of it is he saw her and told her he loved her--she said she loved him too. He told her he missed her--she said she missed him too. He asked her why she had to go away, and she said, "It was just my time." Tears were rolling down his face. I told him I thought it was very lucky that he could dream about Grandma (I've yet to) and talk with her in his dreams. I told him that those words were exactly what she would have said. She would want him to know that she was OK, that she loved him, and that she was watching over him. The kids were so blessed to have Mom a part of their everyday lives. She was our before and after-school care person, and she volunteered daily in the school cafeteria. Maybe starting school again has drudged up some hidden feelings, I don't know. That is the problem--I'm the mom, I'm supposed to know how to handle things. I barely know how to handle myself--I'm so worried I'm messing things up. They were so lucky to be loved so much by Mom, and have that close bond with her. It just hurts so much more now that she is gone. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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