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Yep another golf joke from Ginny


ginnyde

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Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.

Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.

Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls.

If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.

The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it again."

A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ... neither of whom can putt very well.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.

Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.

If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt," you might wish to reconsider this game.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons

Why Golf Is Better Than sex.....

#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.

#9... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.

#8... It's much easier to find the sweet spot.

#7... Foursomes are encouraged.

#6... You can still make money doing it as a senior.

#5... Three times a day is possible.

#4... Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.

#3... If you live in Florida, you can do it almost every day.

#2... You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.

And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#1... When your equipment gets old you can replace it!

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and these

Famous Golf Sayings

Sayings #1

"When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, 'cause I know even God can't hit a one iron."

Lee Trevino

"Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well."

Unknown

"A true golfer is one who shouts 'fore', takes five and writes down three."

Unknown

"Real golfers know how to count over five, when they have a bad hole."

Unknown

"Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer."

Tommy Bolt

"Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course, the space between your ears."

Bobby Jones

"I play with friends, but we don't play friendly games."

Ben Hogan

"I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them."

Harry Tofcano

"If there is any larceny in man, golf will bring it out."

Unknown

"Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club don't you?"

Ben Hogan

"The harder you work, the luckier you get."

Gary Player

"The only shots you can be dead sure of are those you've had already."

Byron Nelson

"The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don't put into it."

Bob Allen

"The greatest liar in the world is the golfer how claims he plays the game for merely exercise."

Tommy Bolt

"Most golfers prepare for disaster. A good golfer prepares for success."

Bob Toski

"A lot of guys who have never choked, have never been in the position to do so."

Tom Watson

"I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list."

Lee Trevino

"Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee, who has a deep suntan, a one iron in his bag and squinty eyes."

Jackie

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