one year today without Mom

[melindasue37]

So many mixed feelings today...I can't beleive it has been a year without Mom. Yet in so many ways it feels like forever.

I thought I was doing so good in the "grief process" but today has put me right in the midst of it again and I can't seem to shake it.

Last year my Mom passed away around 1:30 am. I woke up last night, looked at the clock and it was exactly 1:30.

How strange that even while sleeping my mind was reminding me what today was....

I want to be strong, remember all the GOOD memories and I'm really trying but darn it...it's hard. I just miss her so much.

So, I'm going to finish up what work I have and get out of work where I can cry and scream and do whatever I have to do to get me through this day and remind myself that tomorrow WILl be better.

Thanks for listening. This is the only place where I can do this and know that everyone (especially in the grieving forum) really gets it.

Melinda

[KatieB]

(((Melinda)))

No words, just complete understanding, and a hug across the miles.

((hug))

[Kasey]

We do get it, Melinda. And it hardlly seems that long to me......a whole year. Do what you need to do today to get to tomorrow. I hope there will be some memories that actually may bring a smile to your lips.

I am glad you posted......sorry it must be in the Grieving forum, but I have missed you. I thought we might see you in Chicago.

A little poem for you....

May this day pass soft and gentle

May your heart be filled love

May your mother's essence fill you

As she watches from above.

May the strength you feel inside you

Grow much stronger day by day

And may the love sent from your mother

In your heart forever stay.

Kasey

[Nick C]

Melinda,

Totally get it.

If you need us to get through the day, we'll be here.

I completely understand everything you wrote.

[melindasue37]

Katie, Nick and Kasey,

I felt guilty about posting here today because I haven't been around at all lately to support anyone. I'm sorry for that.

But I had to post here because all of you traveled the journey with my Mom and I and it was always where I came with good news (boy, I remember the post when she went into remission) all the questions we had during her treatments, and all the other "stuff" that I just needed to share.

Thank you for making me smile today to see that through it all you guys are still here. You are all so caring.

Kasey, the poem was absolutely perfect. I sent it to my brothers and sisters and have printed it out. Thank YOU!!

[Kathleen1]

Melinda - hugs to you. I too haven't been around much lately but it was the first place I came on the anniversary of my Mom's passing (1 year) on August 30th. I share your pain and sadness. I thought I was doing better and since August 30th I have taken a complete nosedive. Just know that there are a lot of out here who do get it and feel for you.

Be gentle with yourself. I loved Kasey's poem too. Sending prayers your way.

Kate

[Ann]

((((((((((Melinda))))))))

Thinking of you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers today!!!

[Connie B]

Oh Melinda has it really been one year? Wow, it really doesn't seem like it's been a year. ((((MELINDA)))

Your mom's memories will be alive for many many years and she will remain in your heart. May today pass softly with warm wonderful memories of your dear mother.

[MomsGirl]

Melinda,

The one-year mark is such a hard one...it continues to be surreal and it brings all that pain back. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know how much you miss your mom...

Thoughts and prayers to you...

PS - I always apologize when I don't post for a while, and then I realize that I never think badly of anyone else when they post after being away for a while. Sometimes life intervenes, things get crazy (I can speak up for that one)...or, we need to withdraw a little to regroup and nurse our emotions. To deal with whatever stage we have hit...or frankly, just to take a break. Everyone here is so wonderfully understanding no matter what...