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What should we do?


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Mom mom and dad's 31rst wedding anniversary is quickly approaching. Dad has brought it up a couple times so I know it is on his mind. I am wondering if my brother, sister, and I should ask him to go out to eat or something to celebrate that day. Or do you think he would rather be alone. I just have this horrible vision of him sitting home alone feeling sad about Mom not being there. It just breaks my heart. I will probably just ask him what he would like to do. What would you do? Or if you have lost a spouse, how do you handle these days that were special for the two of you? I just want to know how to help my dad. I realize everyone handles these situations differently but I am just looking for some ideas, I guess.



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I would ask him if he'd like to get together for dinner that night and then take your cues from him.

He may say yes, but not want to "talk" about your mom...

He may say no, but want company at home and "talk" about your mom.

He may simply want to be alone...but I think being genuine and offering to spend that day with him is a really good idea. However it passes, it will be a really hard day.

My mom never wanted to acknowledge their anniversary after my dad died in anyway (or if she did, she preferred to do it alone) She never talked about it- ever, and that's ok too. Thru her grief I just spent as much time with her as possible, taking my cues from her, talking about what she wanted to talk about and getting her out of the house.

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Can't offer anything more than has been said. I just wanted to say you are a darling to be thinking about your Dad's feelings. What a special daughter! Hugs and kudos to you.


(Every time I look at the photo of your vibrant Mom, I want to cry. Damn cancer. She was beautiful Jill.)

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