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Prayers for nyka69


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Hi gang! Thanks so much for the prayers, thoughts, and good vibes sent this way.

I'm sorry for the unanswered emails and PMs. Hubby keeps me pretty busy lately. And frankly, when he sleeps I try to catch some zzzz's myself. Or make business calls. Or pay bills.

We switched to a new hospice provider on Monday. So far we are very pleased. There have been some med changes that have been really helpful. And the staff is great.

He hasn't had any more grand mal seizures, but has occasional partial seizures. He's not very alert or talkative now. Mostly pretty drowsy. He gets his words mixed up sometimes, asking for "lunchtime stuff" when he means pain medication, or saying "sausage lasagna" instead of hello. He can stagger around the house a little, as long as someone is there to catch him when he stumbles. But somebody has to be around all the time. There's no way to anticipate seizures and he sometimes thinks he can do more than he is capable of.

I've just been plain old sad lately. I miss being home (we're at my mom's now so I can have some help). I miss the way our life together used to be. I haven't worked in a month (the longest ever). I don't really have time to chat or email much anymore. I hate the weekends; my mom and step-father are around all the time. Every time I come out of our bedroom she asks "how's he doing?". I know she means well, but sometimes I just want to shout "He has cancer! Did you think he was cured since the last time you asked me?" I'm just tired and sensitive right now.

I think I'm starting to babble. Just wanted to thank you all for your kind words and support.

Keep on keeping on...

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