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Trying to figure out how to cope


jmills

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My mom has been recently diagnosed with lung cancer. She had a CT scan, then an appointment with a specialist who told her they were 99.9% certain that the lumps are cancer. She goes for a biopsy next week to determine what type/stage? I live about 2000 miles away from her. We have already been waiting about 3 weeks to find out anything and have another 1-2 weeks until we find out what her prognosis is. I am ok most days if I don't think too much about it, but some days it hits me and I can't stop crying. I just feel like I don't have the ability to deal with it and am looking for a way to figure out how to cope. It doesn't sound promising for survival of lung cancer???

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First of all, I am sorry for both you and your mother, but you have come to the right place for support. Both my family and I were a mess when I was first diagnosed. I could not get through a day without crying and my family felt the same way too. Believe it or not, it does get better with time. Both you and your mother are so new to it all.

You will not know the results or staging until you know. Many people here live active normal lives with lung cancer and they were devistated thinking they were not going to make it. Some people here were given poor prognosis's and years later they are still around.

Stay with this website and you will get a lot of support you need. I will keep both you and your mother in my prayers. By the way, there is a lot of hope with all the new treatments out now.

Be strong, cry when you need to and let us help you.

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For me, the ONLY way that I could cope in the beginning of my mom's diagnosis was to submerse myself into educating myself, my mom, and my family about lung cancer. By mom's 3rd visit, I had lists of questions for the Dr. that went a page long. I knew what trials and treatments were available and it gave my mom hope and assurance that no stone was unturned. She called me her advocate. Perhaps it was the only control I had over the disease.

I am not sure if you are an in control type person, but it helped me in some ways.

I guess the best advice that I have is to love your mom and love yourself through this time.

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I agree with Lori-I was the same way and still am. There is not one night that goes by that I am not on this computer looking something up in reference to lung cancer or just checking in on this web-site for more hope. The prognosis can be very grim sometimes but we don't listen to statistics in this house-my Mom has surpassed everyone of them so far.

Keep the faith-have hope and take it one day @ a time-that is all any of us can do.

Dar

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It's hard at the beginning not knowing. The best think a family/friends/patient can do is to get on with everyday life, not to go into funeral mode. Deal with things as the come done the pike. Take it one day/one step at a time. Stay positive and focused. Research a much as you can, knowledge is the key. I always enjoy when someone takes the time to call me, means a lot to me so give mom a call everyday. Forget the stats there are plenty of members here who have far outlived there prognosis, are having a life/living with cancer and it is doable. There is also a BECOME A BUDDY / LOOKING FOR A BUDDY forum if you want to talk to someone. No one way or right way to cope but if you need help seek it here, a support group in person or professional help. Don't let it consume you. Hope this helps, prayers for the best.

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You've come to the right place to help your mom!

The beginning is so very hard. You are frightened, you don't know what you are dealing with, you don't know what the treatment will be and all you can think about is that LC is one of the BAD cancers (not that there is a good one, but you know what I mean).

But as you learn more about your mom's diagnosis and the course of treatment you will be able to breathe again. Read my mom's profile--when she was diagnosed there is no way I would have believed that she is doing as well as she is at this point in time. Heck, I wasn't even sure she would still be here at this point in time! There are many long term survivors here. They are making great progress in this fight and your mom is lucky to have you as an advocate for here.

Even far away you can learn as much as you can and make sure she is getting good care from her doctors. I live 500 miles away from my mom--so even far away you can be a big help to her!

Susan

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Hello and welcome.

I am also 2,000 miles away from my mom and your words could have easily been my own. I know exactly what you are feeling. Even though the beginning is really scary and really sad, I hope you will be able to find hope in some of the stories you will find on this site. I know that helped me a lot when my mom was first diagnosed--I read as many survival stories as I could.

Please know that the statistics you read don't mean anything for your mom. I advise you not to read them at all because all they do is scare you.

I'm glad you found this site.

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