Need Advice with the Other Parent

[needhope]

Well, it has been almost 5 months since my dad passed and I am having my good and bad days as I am sure everyone is. It is still hard to believe that it happened and sometimes I have to take out his funeral program to come to terms with the reality.

Has anyone else, after the loss of one parent, been increasingly worried about their other parent? I am worried about my mom's health and want her to lead a more healthy life. She has some health problems including hypertension, high cholesterol, obesity, and arthritis. She is also a stomach cancer survivor (9 years-surgically removed). She is not working and hasn't worked in 9 years. My dad was the breadwinner but now that he is gone she doesn't do much all day but lay around (which she had been doing before his illness). She joined a fitness center during the summer but has slowly stopped going.I love my Mom but she is a stubborn woman. How do I get her more proactive about her health and enthusiastic about working out and staying active? Any suggestions?

Rochelle

[teriw]

Hi Rochelle,

I don't know your mom, but I suspect that her grief probably needs the primary attention before any other positive life style changes will occur. If she isn't currently part of a grief group, perhaps you might help her locate one. Losing her husband will have completely changed her everyday life, her future, etc. Part of her is now gone. I think small steps that help her find new joy in the little things might then help her care about her health.

So sorry for your family's loss,

[needhope]

Thanks Teri,

I have been looking at grief groups in the area that may be helpful. As well as volunteer opportunities. She loves working with kids. This is not her first major loss; she lost a son before I was born. Thirty years later she is just now starting to talk about him after the passing of my dad. So I think she is making some strides as it relates to dealing with grief.

Rochelle

[teriw]

Rochelle,

Volunteering would be great, if she's up for that. There is a woman in my grief group who shared that it was only after she lost her husband that she was able to confront her grief from losing her parents. Perhaps that's part of what your mom is going through. She's held in her pain about her son, and now is feeling the full weight of it all.

I'm sure she appreciates you being there for her. If your mom doesn't find a grief group and wants someone to talk to, I'll be happy to PM you my email.