barbara5452 Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 My God, does it ever go away? I think that I am handling things well and for the last 2 days I have been so depressed. I don't know what triggered it but I absolutely hate it. Just wondering if this beast is going to get me, can't seem to get it off my mind here lately. Been getting acceptable reports but I sometimes feel if I get too confident it will sneak up on me again. I got my drivers license renewed and got in the car and started balling, my thought, will I be here 4 years from now to get them renewed again ? I know we all have been there more than once, I just needed to vent and do a little crying. Hoping it will help me dig my way out. Bless us all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 Yep, we've all been there. Can't say anything that will totally pull you out of it, either. My best suggestion? Throw yourself a big pity party. Sit on the pity party pot and let it all go, wallow....then get up, flush, and step away from it. You'll be here tomorrow. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day and the years add up. If years are getting to you right now, concentrate on months...or weeks. Wish I could just give you a big hug...but I'll loan you my flashlight and my baseball bat - you can shine the light on the monsters under the bed and knock 'em out of the park! Take care, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollfinn Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 Barbara~ Funny, I should find your posting at the tail end of my 'mini-meltdown". My scans came back improving last Thurs. The Dr. "Ok'ed" me back to work 3 days/week for Monday. He said go back to what you were doing. Work went great, the girls were great. Tuesday, I lost it . very bad day, called in sick Wens! I never do that. I need that day to begin "re-trending" as I call it. You cant go back, so you just move foward, day by day. It was either that or let the funk take over. PS I will be at work Fri, and the tears helped alot. Keep us posted. Waiting to hear the your funk has lifted. Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexan Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 Cry,cry & cry.... Then go back to life. Me too, had great report & I stil thinking if the next ones will be the same or they would be terrible. We need to change. Start to living today. We have good examples Rich, Connie, Don,Randy,Kasey. and....all our friends in this site.Xanax helps me a lot. I try no to think & sometimes is imposible.I am scared to death. I love life. Hope you feel better. A big hug bucky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 Slow down Barb. BABY STEPS! I never plan more then 4 to 6 months ahead. Only because we just never know what could happen! Life has taken many different turns for me. If I'm still here to do my license in one more year, then I say HOORAY! But, I'm not going to worry about it now. How does that song go??? Don't Worry, Be Happy! Your just having a down (moment) Your entitled! This too shall pass! TODAY IS ANOTHER GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonni Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Oh Barb...I'm sorry you are so down...but honey...don't fret...this too will pass...You know we have all been there and know what you are going thru...It really sux...Think positive honey and don't let this *&^%$ beast get to you...I will be praying for better day's ahead for you....and you know you can alway's come here for support and to lift you back up...Get it out of your system and pick your self back up...You'll be here for a long long time...hugs and more hugs...Nonni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Hi Barbara: I had periods of depression for the first 3 years or so. I took lexapro, which seemed to help, but eventually I just kind of stopped the lexapro and the depression does not come back very much. I guess I just got kind of tired of feeling bad so it went away in the last year. I told myself that this getting old. But while I had the depression, I would be patient with myself and just let it wash through me. I knew that it would not last forever. So, just let it go through you and be patient I guess. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patti B Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Barb - Funny you posted this - I have been thinking of starting a post about this. I am the one who usually is upbeat, positive and fighting like a champ. But then I got a bad CAT scan and they had to take me off Avastin and put me on Alimta. Knew this day was coming but had it put to the back of my head. Guess its the realization that things MAY start to go downhill!! Then my teenage son is giving me a hard time - seems to care more about his football then helping me out!! So for the last couple of days, I have been hanging out in my room crying. Can't get the doom and gloom out of my mind. I know its probably normal to feel this way once in a while but it still feels bad. Hope you start to feel better and I will, too.....we can all have a "cyber" cocktail together - I would like some White Zinfendal please!! Stay Positive ----- Patti Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Being in the dumps is MORE then normal with this roller-coaster ride. And one thing is for sure, your entiled to be down in the dumps now and then. This journey is NO CAKE WALK! I've always been one that needs to talk things out when something is pulling be down or driving me nuts. For me, that's the best medicine. We are here 24/7 if anyone needs an ear. Sometimes I think we don't complain enough, because we try so hard to keep things together for others, as well as for ourselves. And that's a LOT to put on one person or to expect of ourselves. Although sometimes I think if we lose it, we'll fall apart at the seams and then what will happen. Our brains tend to work overtime day after day after day. We don't want others to see us hurt, because that might hurt them. And the cicle goes on and on and on. Barb, as for your son.... well my dear, he is a teenager. (stick 1) I'm sure his football is his happy place for not having to deal with cancer. (can't say as I blame hiim). We all need some place to go and be happy for a while, if possible. We adults don't totally understand the ups and downs of cancer, let alone a teenager. Maybe it would be worth you trying to go watch him at his football games. (just to get the cancer off your mind for a little while, even if you go for 35 mintues if you feel up to it). It's not easy to get out of the holes when we get in them, but every once and a while we need a push. It's the best thing for us. We're here and if both of your Barb's need to vent, then HAVE AT IT! This isn't easy to live with and your NOT ALONE! (((((BARB'S)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babylove91297 Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 "Patti B"]Barb - Then my teenage son is giving me a hard time - seems to care more about his football then helping me out!! I know first hand how hard this can be. But Connie is right on target with this. My oldest took it hard when she found out I had cancer. We didn't see eye to eye in the slightest. I let it go, but now that she has had her time. She is here for me, always checking to make sure I'm alright. The second of this month was my 26th aniversary, my husband and I went to a Genesis concert. I had never been to a concert in my life. I had an awesome time, and for once I was able to forget about the dreaded "c". So I know how our children must feel about it as well. Bobbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 I know the feeling also. I have been there and back more times than I care to mention. Some days are just like that. I try to keep busy that is what helps me for a while. My prayers are with you. It is time for a cure for this awful, awful disease. Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eileen4 Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 Barb, I'm so glad you posted because knowing someone else feels like I do helps a LOT. I've been feeling the exact same way for a few weeks now and in fact, just got some anti-depressants which I'm taking (usually I don't as I hate taking pills--but I realize that this time, I REALLY need something to help me deal with this.) I was doing great, then I had serious problems with the job messing with me (still not a great situation there) then my little cat had some serious surgery on tumors this week and I'm still waiting on the biopsy results. But also, I've been having that same ache in my lung that I had before they found it, and when I cough, I really feel something there.. I've been trying to ignore it for over 3 weeks, hoping it's just a cold or something, but yesterday I had to call Moffitt and they're bringing me in for another CT scan earlier than my appointment. So, the terror is back and yes it sucks BIG time. I keep most of the fear and grief to myself as I don't have much of a support system around. Most of the people who rallied around following the surgery and dx have faded away and my family live on the other side of the world. Sometimes it's just very hard to deal with this and I've even reached the point where I'm simply putting one foot in front of the other some days. I hope you are feeling better now, and there are better days ahead for us all. And thanks for letting me vent too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barbara5452 Posted October 27, 2007 Author Share Posted October 27, 2007 Thank you all for your support, I'm a bit better and have found that I am not alone with my fears and concerns thank you all so much and I hope all of you are digging your way out of the slumps. I too have felt a little different, ache here ache there so kinda concerned about my next scan in Nov. also right now I know of 4 people here in my hometown who are with hospice right now and yes lc so that has been such a downer in itself. But it is not our time we all have work yet to be done. We need to keep ourselves busy as possible and blame all the aches to getting older until told otherwise. God bless us all and if venting helps I say we need to do it more often especially those of us who try not to burden the people around us with our concerns, that's what this web site is about and everyone here are angels in disguise in my eyes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patti B Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 Barb - Hope you are continuing to feel more "up". I wrote earlier that I, too, have been feeling down but all of a sudden, I am back on track!! So much more energy both mentally and physically!! Don't know why this happens sometimes but I guess we are allowed to feel that way from time to time!! And it is good to know that it will pass! I am feeling so good I have decided to paint my bathroom!! Myabe having something to do is what helped!! Hugs to you all!! Patti Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.