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So afraid I'll mess this up...


kamataca

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My younger brother and his wife are expecting their first child--it will actually be born this Friday (C-section...some minor complications). Thankfully, Mom knew the baby was coming. Right after she found out, she went to her onc. appointment. My daughter Taylor was with her at the time, and Mom told her dr. that he needed to keep her around until November--she had another grandchild coming.

So fast forward, and of course Mom won't be with us (physically, at least). I am so excited to meet this little guy or girl. I am also so sad that this little one won't have any grandparents, from our side at least. I remember how sad I was when Tay was born, that my dad wasn't there...and I had years to get used to his death. The kids and I are taking the day off to be there, so this baby can be surrounded by as much family as possible.

I'm just so terrified that I will break down. The pain of missing Mom has been so acute this week. First the baby, and then our first Thanksgiving without Mom. I don't want to ruin such a beautiful day with grief and sorrow. Please pray for me this week--for the strength to enjoy this amazing gift of life, without thinking about who we will all be missing.

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Make sure you can get some alone time while there cause you will probably want it to yourself for a little while anyways. And Congrats on a new little one in the world. IF you feel a melt down just excuse yourself for a few minutes and relax and think about some good things and just let it happen. You will feel better. THis is also very difficult at the holidays on all of us who have lost loved ones and this is added stress in a strange way, but a good way.

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A new baby--how wonderful!

So what if you break down? The major milestones of life deserve some tears, I think. Some tears of joy, some of sadness and you are fully embraced in the great circle of life. Your mom will be there and she will know. She already knows this baby and will be a very special guardian angel!

((((Hugs))))

Susan

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(((Kelly)))

Congratulations on the new arrival. What a blessing.

I will have you in my thoughts and prayers as well as the rest of your family that day and will be sending many positive thoughts and hugs as well.

You'll be fine, Mom will be there with you all and watching over this wonderful event. If the tears come, I agree, just excuse yourself and let them fall. I am sure everyone will understand.

Can't wait to hear if you have a new nephew or niece!

Lots of hugs and many prayers,

Christine

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Last year when I went to Louisiana for Christmas I knew that my first great grandchild would be born while I was there. She was born on December 20th. We were all thrilled at her arrival and she is such a precious gift for a family that was ravaged by grief.

We were just a few days shy of the first Christmas without my ex husband. He died the previous February. No one spoke the words while there but I know it was on everyone's mind that their Paw Paw should have been there for this first great grandchild.

We celebrated her birth with joy and also that feeling of missing him. Once we left the room I looked at my oldest grandson and told him that I knew what he was thinking because I was thinking the same thing. Denis should have been there! At the same time I knew that he was there in spirit and in the hearts of all our family.

Believe me it will be alright. I am sure they are all thinking the same thing and with their thoughts and love your mom will be there and rejoyce with you all.

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Why would any emotion "ruin" anything.

Your mom is missed. Absent when it is unnatural for her to be.

You won't be the only person feeling this way and won't be ruining anything.

When my little girl arrives she will be greeted with tears of joy and sadness...and that's OK. It can't be any other way for us.

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I feel I need to clarify my earlier post by saying of course there will be tears of joy, that is to be expected as are the tears of sorrow. I probably should have chosed my words a little better perhaps as my message was simply that time alone to pull ones self together is also a very acceptable thing, especially in a case like this.

My apologies if my post came across as inappropriate.

(((Kelly)))

Christine

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Kelly

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I guess a whole bunch of us will be needing some extra prayers over the next few months. I am sure you wont be the only one missing your mom and it sounds like this baby will be surrounded by tons of love so if you need a few minutes to yourself for some "missin mom time" I am thinking everyone will understand. I guess all we can do is take it all as it comes and try to deal the best we can.

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Kelly,

You will be fine, you will miss

your Mom but she will be there

in spirit, tears of joy, tears

of pain are emotions and when

a baby is born the joy of the

birth may hold pain for those

missing in person but not in

mind.

Take care and congratulations

on this new family member.

Hugs

Jackie

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Kelly, what a wonderful idea for you and your family to surround this new baby with so much love!!! I know what you are going through, as Dennis wasn't with us to welcome our first grandchild into this big, beautiful world. Just try and focus on the happiness that a new baby brings and know that your mom is there with your family for this happy day! I will be saying prayers, asking God to help you be strong!

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I don't think you can mess it up. although I know the sad tears *seem* out of place when there is such joy around, I think it's all healing. all of it. you can't mess it up because you are a loving, kind woman who knows her truth and feels her feelings. I know this from your posts here. just be you. that neice/nephew is lucky to have you, tears and all.

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It will be a beautiful experience. How wonderful to see a new life!

Forget your fears, though they are very real it will turn out to be a glorious day.

You mom will see her grandchild!

take care sweetie and let us know how it goes.

Maryanne :wink:

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Kelly...

Our paths are so very similar that it gets a little creepy sometimes, but remember that I'm walking, hand in hand, with you. There are many times that I look down at Xavier and just start crying when I didn't even realize Mom was on my mind. I've stopped feeling guilty (for the most part) that my son sees so many tears from me and have started looking at it like this:

He sees (and your family will see of you) how capable I am of loving so deeply that it effects me to the point that I'm tearful with missing her and tearful with the joy of having him.

I'll keep you (and your family!) in my prayers.

XOXO

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