kamataca Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 My younger brother and his wife are expecting their first child--it will actually be born this Friday (C-section...some minor complications). Thankfully, Mom knew the baby was coming. Right after she found out, she went to her onc. appointment. My daughter Taylor was with her at the time, and Mom told her dr. that he needed to keep her around until November--she had another grandchild coming. So fast forward, and of course Mom won't be with us (physically, at least). I am so excited to meet this little guy or girl. I am also so sad that this little one won't have any grandparents, from our side at least. I remember how sad I was when Tay was born, that my dad wasn't there...and I had years to get used to his death. The kids and I are taking the day off to be there, so this baby can be surrounded by as much family as possible. I'm just so terrified that I will break down. The pain of missing Mom has been so acute this week. First the baby, and then our first Thanksgiving without Mom. I don't want to ruin such a beautiful day with grief and sorrow. Please pray for me this week--for the strength to enjoy this amazing gift of life, without thinking about who we will all be missing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Make sure you can get some alone time while there cause you will probably want it to yourself for a little while anyways. And Congrats on a new little one in the world. IF you feel a melt down just excuse yourself for a few minutes and relax and think about some good things and just let it happen. You will feel better. THis is also very difficult at the holidays on all of us who have lost loved ones and this is added stress in a strange way, but a good way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbb Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Like Randy said, take time for you. It's ok if we cry, you are going to have some rough days, who wouldn't understand that. Being there with your family is going to be very special as is this wonderful new baby. I will pray for you. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 A new baby--how wonderful! So what if you break down? The major milestones of life deserve some tears, I think. Some tears of joy, some of sadness and you are fully embraced in the great circle of life. Your mom will be there and she will know. She already knows this baby and will be a very special guardian angel! ((((Hugs)))) Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 (((Kelly))) Congratulations on the new arrival. What a blessing. I will have you in my thoughts and prayers as well as the rest of your family that day and will be sending many positive thoughts and hugs as well. You'll be fine, Mom will be there with you all and watching over this wonderful event. If the tears come, I agree, just excuse yourself and let them fall. I am sure everyone will understand. Can't wait to hear if you have a new nephew or niece! Lots of hugs and many prayers, Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Last year when I went to Louisiana for Christmas I knew that my first great grandchild would be born while I was there. She was born on December 20th. We were all thrilled at her arrival and she is such a precious gift for a family that was ravaged by grief. We were just a few days shy of the first Christmas without my ex husband. He died the previous February. No one spoke the words while there but I know it was on everyone's mind that their Paw Paw should have been there for this first great grandchild. We celebrated her birth with joy and also that feeling of missing him. Once we left the room I looked at my oldest grandson and told him that I knew what he was thinking because I was thinking the same thing. Denis should have been there! At the same time I knew that he was there in spirit and in the hearts of all our family. Believe me it will be alright. I am sure they are all thinking the same thing and with their thoughts and love your mom will be there and rejoyce with you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I will have you firmly in prayer this week. Trust yourself You are loving and kind. That will shine through no matter what. love P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Why would any emotion "ruin" anything. Your mom is missed. Absent when it is unnatural for her to be. You won't be the only person feeling this way and won't be ruining anything. When my little girl arrives she will be greeted with tears of joy and sadness...and that's OK. It can't be any other way for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 You're not just going to be missing your Mom... You're going to be looking forward to meeting this little person. The air will be heavy with the joy of that, and the joy will help you through the other. Tears ARE ok for the joy and the grief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I feel I need to clarify my earlier post by saying of course there will be tears of joy, that is to be expected as are the tears of sorrow. I probably should have chosed my words a little better perhaps as my message was simply that time alone to pull ones self together is also a very acceptable thing, especially in a case like this. My apologies if my post came across as inappropriate. (((Kelly))) Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted November 12, 2007 Author Share Posted November 12, 2007 No worries, Christine--I didn't take it that way at all. You guys lift me up. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crystleshoe Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Kelly You are in my thoughts and prayers. I guess a whole bunch of us will be needing some extra prayers over the next few months. I am sure you wont be the only one missing your mom and it sounds like this baby will be surrounded by tons of love so if you need a few minutes to yourself for some "missin mom time" I am thinking everyone will understand. I guess all we can do is take it all as it comes and try to deal the best we can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Kelly, You will be fine, you will miss your Mom but she will be there in spirit, tears of joy, tears of pain are emotions and when a baby is born the joy of the birth may hold pain for those missing in person but not in mind. Take care and congratulations on this new family member. Hugs Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Kelly, what a wonderful idea for you and your family to surround this new baby with so much love!!! I know what you are going through, as Dennis wasn't with us to welcome our first grandchild into this big, beautiful world. Just try and focus on the happiness that a new baby brings and know that your mom is there with your family for this happy day! I will be saying prayers, asking God to help you be strong! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 I don't think you can mess it up. although I know the sad tears *seem* out of place when there is such joy around, I think it's all healing. all of it. you can't mess it up because you are a loving, kind woman who knows her truth and feels her feelings. I know this from your posts here. just be you. that neice/nephew is lucky to have you, tears and all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 sweetie you can't mess this up... you will be there and you will do what comes naturally and that WILL be the right thing... Besides, you will have an angel guiding you through the whole thing!! Have no fear! Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 It will be a beautiful experience. How wonderful to see a new life! Forget your fears, though they are very real it will turn out to be a glorious day. You mom will see her grandchild! take care sweetie and let us know how it goes. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missyk Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 Kelly... Our paths are so very similar that it gets a little creepy sometimes, but remember that I'm walking, hand in hand, with you. There are many times that I look down at Xavier and just start crying when I didn't even realize Mom was on my mind. I've stopped feeling guilty (for the most part) that my son sees so many tears from me and have started looking at it like this: He sees (and your family will see of you) how capable I am of loving so deeply that it effects me to the point that I'm tearful with missing her and tearful with the joy of having him. I'll keep you (and your family!) in my prayers. XOXO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma's kid Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Kelly, Hugs and prayers...tears are ok and *mom* will be right there to meet the newest member of the family Lib Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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