venting!

[Sloanie83]

Tonight went to talk to my mom and caught her sitting in the room with my dad who was smoking! If that’s not bad enough I see she is smoking too!!!! I was so mad! I just shut the door and left. I feel so angry! I don't know who I should be madder at my mom for smoking or my dad for letting her and for not stopping his self. I think as a care giver I feel devastated in a way. I feel bad for feeling this way. I mean I know my mom is going thought sooooo much not only physically but emotionally. Does anyone else feel like this sometimes? I just feel so lost sometimes with this all, then I think is i feel like this what does my mom and everyone else with this awful disease feels. Thanks for letting me VENT!

[Nick C]

I understand your frustration.

Just express that it is quite factual that treatment will be far more effective if she stops, and if she want to do everything she can to get better she should stop...and leave it at that.

I thin that would give you the best shot at succeeding.

[RandyW]

Vent away THis is a powerful addiction that is very hard to break though so do not be too hard and try to help them to realize that they are jeopardizing treatment by smooking. Here is some cold hard facts about smoking and treatment;

The list of direct and indirect adverse health consequences of tobacco use on health status continues to expand, affecting nearly every organ in the body, including heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, osteoporosis, cataracts, etc. (3). Thus, before the diagnosis of cancer, both current and former smokers might be expected to have an increased number and severity of tobacco-related comorbid conditions that would adversely affect their general health status, symptom experience, and QOL. A growing number of reports in the medical literature describe the effects of smoking cigarettes on cancer treatment and outcome, both short and long-term (4, 5). The long-term effects of smoking in patients with cancer are uniformly negative, although risks decline with time since cessation. The risk of SPTs is significantly increased in smokers (6-13). This elevated risk applies to malignancies that are related to smoking and those that are not; as an example, individuals treated with radiation therapy to the chest (e.g., for breast cancer) are at increased risk of lung SPTs if they smoke (14, 15). Stopping smoking, even at diagnosis, significantly reduces the risk of SPTs (refs. 9, 16, 17; cf. refs. 6, 18). Overall survival is also poorer in smokers either as a direct result of malignancy or as a consequence of other smoking-related diseases (19-24). In one study, men who had undergone curative external beam radiation therapy for localized prostate cancer and who were current smokers had more aggressive cancers, were at increased risk of relapse, and had higher overall mortality (25). In another study, patients with early-stage lung cancer had poorer survival if they were current smokers at the start of definitive radiation or chemoradiation therapy (26). Furthermore, smoking has been reported as a predictor of shorter survival in patients with lung cancer independent of expected tobacco-related comorbid conditions (27).

Multiple studies have supported the deleterious consequences of tobacco use during cancer treatment. For example, smokers can develop severe pulmonary complications following surgery (28, 29). Thus, many surgeons insist that patients stop smoking for at least 2 weeks before an operation (30), and some recommend a minimum of 2 months of abstinence if timing permits (31). Major pulmonary complications resulting in increased death rates have been reported in patients following pneumonectomy who continued to smoke up to 1 month before surgery compared with those who had quit earlier (32). Furthermore, wound healing is compromised by smoking as a function of the vasoconstrictive actions of nicotine, an effect that has been shown dramatically in breast reconstruction after mastectomy and in surgery for smoking-related tumors (33, 34). Smoking also increases complications of radiation therapy. Patients with head and neck cancer, who continued to smoke during radiation therapy, experienced reduced treatment efficacy and increased toxicity and side effects (21). In a study of women who underwent pelvic radiation therapy for stage I or II carcinoma of the cervix, smoking one or more packs of cigarettes per day was the strongest predictor of small bowel complications (35). In addition, smoking history was a major risk factor for radiation pneumonitis after therapy for lung cancer (36).

The effects of smoking during chemotherapy have been explored the least, probably because of the failure to assess and record smoking status and dose during treatment. However, some potential sequelae of smoking include exacerbation of drug toxicity and side effects, further impairment of immune function, and increased incidence of infection (37-41). Treatment-related weight loss and cachexia would also be expected to be exacerbated by smoking because smoking suppresses appetite and weight gain (42-44). Nicotine alters the basal metabolic rate; thus, smokers have increased energy expenditures that might exacerbate cancer-related cachexia (45, 46) albeit via a different mechanism. Furthermore, via the induction of hepatic enzymes, nicotine increases the metabolism of many pharmaceutical agents, thus potentially decreasing their efficacy (30, 47). This observation needs to be explored further in relation to chemotherapeutic agents.

Smoking puts patients at risk for comorbid diseases that adversely affect QOL and can confound QOL results for cancer clinical trials, a factor rarely considered in the analysis of these outcomes (48). Such comorbidities are especially relevant for those diagnosed with early-stage disease who are likely to become long-term survivors. For example, women who are postmenopausal cancer survivors are at risk of osteoporosis, and smoking may further elevate this risk (3). This may also be true for those treated with steroids and with premature menopause induced by cancer treatment. Limited evidence is available about the effect of continued smoking on QOL during the course of cancer treatment and survivorship. Poorer QOL at up to 3 years of follow-up has also been reported among survivors with lung cancer who continued to smoke after diagnosis (49). In comparison with never smokers, persistent smokers reported significantly higher symptom distress scores and former smokers had intermediate scores.

Additionally, exposure to secondhand smoke, which is rarely assessed, is carcinogenic and is associated with significant comorbidity; therefore, it is relevant to both smokers and nonsmokers, especially women (e.g., nonsmoking wives exposed to active smoking by their husbands; refs. 1, 50-52). In a study of lung cancer survivors, exposure to secondhand smoke was an independent predictor of poor health status (53).

[J.C.]

Your frustration SHOULD never

show in front of your parents.

So many reasons to stop smoking

and they also have so many false

reasons to try one last cigarette.

A weak moment,

Tired of being told that cigarettes were

the cause of the cancer,

People showing them how easy it is to stop

when it is so hard for them.......

Frustration showing on the face of those

they love when they get discover with a

cigarette.

Be soft with them, don't encourage them

to smoke but find ways to replace that habit

with a good one for them....

Vent here but not in front of them.

Jackie

[Maryanne]

I guess you should just let them be. I know you cannot stopped someone from smoking it has to come from them.

I would imagine but I really don't know that most people stop cold turkey when they are diagnoised. I know Joel did. But some just can't and being in this stressful situation may make it harder to quit.

If you stress your opinion abrubtly they may say they stopped they probably will just sneak around you. Which may be the situation that is happening now as in your mom's profile it said she stopped.

I do hope they come to the realization that it is far better for the both to lay off the cigarettes but I just know there is nothing you can personally do to get them to quit.

You can let them know how scared and disapointed you are and just hope that they listen.

I feel like I'm going in all different directions here, I' m sorry. I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave at all the smokers and have them quit that nasty habit.

Take care and you can vent here anytime.

Maryanne

[Bev'sSister]

I remember my sister trying to quit right after she found out. It was so hard for her. She cut down a lot, but she still had to have a cigarette from time to time. I think what made her seriously stop was when her doctor asked her if she was trying to commit suicide.

It is so hard to just quit. I would venture to say that it is impossible. Maybe you could get them to consider the patch or gum. There is also a new Rx available..I think it is called Chantix. It is supposed to be good.

Dont be too hard on Mom or Dad. They know already they should not be smoking.

[Ry]

I noticed in your profile that she had quit for 6 months-- so I get your anger. I think if I had ever had that experience with John I would have blown. I used to have nightmares that he started smoking again and I would wake up so angry. Now...that said-- I am glad you just shut the door and left. Jackie is a better person than I am so listen to her. Vent here any time. That's what we're here for.

[Patkid]

Please just love your mom~

EXACTLY AS SHE IS AND NOT AS SHE SHOULD BE.

Just love her.

Hugs

P