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I feel like I lost my mom all over again


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Ive been wearing my moms cross on my neck ever since the day she died and tonite in the shower the chain broke and before I knew it it was gone. I know its just a piece of jewelry but she had it for so long and its the last piece of jewelry she wore and it was the only thing I really wanted and now it is lost forever. I feel like I have been punched in the stomach and like now she is really gone. Yesterday was her birthday and I went and put balloons on her grave and talked to her like she was there with me and now here I am sobbing and being hysterical over nothing. I just dont know how ill make it thru the holidays if I cant handle stuff like this. It seems like nothing will ever be "right" again, like I will always be sad and missing her. And now I am so mad that anyone even has to ever go thru this. I hate lung cancer!!!!!!!!

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The holidays are always especially rough on all of us suffering a loss at anytime of the year. Do what feels right emotionally. If you do not want to be around people don't if you do, then go ahead and do it.

During the holidays, people ar full of cheer and happiness for the most part and do not alwaysseem to get that we have lost someone near and dear to us. IT is all about being happy and joyful and not everyone can be like that. I am not happy and joyful for the most part right now. I can put on a happy face for a while.but it does come off eventually and I make apologies to NO ONE!!

Call a plumber about the necklace It may be in a bend in the pipe. There is also the possibility that it may turn upin the water treatment facility near you maybe??? Just a thought.

WIsh icould give you a hug and say it is going to be allright but it would not be right to do that so I send you acyberhug for the Fammily and a BIG one for you at this time of year and can say aprayer for you for a a little strength. It always helps me out some.

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Cheryl that cross is not just a thing. In your mind and heart it is a part of your mom. It helps you to feel the connection that you still have with her. You are not crying over nothing. You are crying for losing one more part of your mom.

I agree with Randy you may get a plumber to try and find it in the pipe. If it is large enough it may not have gone far.

Now I am going to say something that may seem somewhat unusual but many of the people who have been here for awhile know the story of my praying hands and will understand what I am saying.

The loss of that cross just may be a way for you to see a miracle, to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your mom is still around and not only sees what is going on but has ways of helping you through.

I have a pair of praying hands that I have had for nearly 30 years. My husband gave them to me for Christmas one year because I had requested them. Over the years they became more and more important to me. My conection to them outlasted my marriage.

When I was living with Johnny and taking care of him I felt like those praying hands represented the constant prayer for him that was in my heart. After his death they seemed to be that conection to him.

With in the first year of his death I moved twice. Somehow on the second move my praying hands disappeared. Notice I didn't say that I lost them. I broke the chain and almost lost them twice so I quit wearing them. They were on my dresser the day I moved so I put them and the chain in the zippered section of my wallet. When I got to French Gulch they were gone.

The chain was still there but the praying hands were gone. Even knowing where I had put them I searched everything even taking out the dust in the vacuum. I went through all of my suitcases checking each pocket and all of the seams. I was heartbroken just as you are because I knew they were gone forever.

Nearly a year later on a day that had been brutal for me the year before when those praying hands had played a major role in my life I had my miracle.

It was cold and rainy and foggy just like it had been the year before a day that had ended up starting the main events that took my Johnny from me. The year before it had been the day after Thanksgiving. That year it was Thanksgiving day.

I was totaly alone. The only family I had near was my niece and her family and they were down with the flu and I couldn't go there. I spent the whole day alone with those heart wrenching memories.I was supposed to go on a job the next day to a client I had never seen before. I was nervous about that and dreading the long drive on a mountain road where I had never been. Added to the memories it was one of the worse days I had had in that year of heartache.

With nothing else to do I decided to pack early. I got my suitcase out of the closet and lay it on the bed. When I opened it laying right in the middle face up were my praying hands :!: At that moment I felt Johnny near me. I believe losing them and finding them where and when I did was to remind me that I am never really alone. That both Johnny and God see and know what I need.

I had searched those suitcases going through each seem more than once. I had even used that one again. Those praying hands where not there. Even had I somehow missed them they would never have been found like they were. It had been standing on end. They would have fallen to an end not layed in the middle as if being placed there.

I bought a new chain and started wearing them again. I wear them everyday with no real fear of losing them. You see I lost them once again just as strangely and they reappeared again in a place where I had searched.

I am telling you this so you won't give up hope. It is amazing the things that I have witnessed sense Johnny's death. Things that would have made me laugh at anyone who would have suggested them before. God truly does work in mysterious ways and our loved ones are never more that a breath away.

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i don't know if it is any consolation, but i can say that at the time, i didn't know how i could make it through the holidays and important events either. but i did. and you will too. just don't beat yourself up for having normal emotions, for grieving. you'll come out the other end eventually, it's just a very rough ride to get there. you will always miss her, but you won't always be sad, i promise.

and i do understand how the jewelry is such a part of her. i have my mothers' wedding and engagement ring and i would feel just like you if something happened to them. here's hoping someone can actually retrieve them from the pipes. i'll say a prayer to st. anthony, he was my mum's favorite saint and found things for her all the time.

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As someone who can pretty superstitous about jewelry--I believe that when we lose jewelry it means that we don't need it anymore. It means that it is time for something new in your life....and it is time to let go of the old piece. Like a snake shedding skin.

I know the holidays can be hard. And I wish you much peace and strength.



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Just hope you find that cross again,

to you and Lily, when you wear a piece

of jewerly you hold dear to you always

wear it on two chains, I do it with the small

urn that have a wee bit of ashes from Mike

and a few times on of the chain broke but

the other one saved the urn....

The two chains I have are of a different

pattern and alwsy replace the one broken by

the same pattern.....superstition, don't

know but it is my way.


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Hello Cheryl,

I get what you are saying, one minute things are okay and then the next you are in tears. I think this is what we have to allow our lives to be like in the face of grief. I had a similar jewerly thing happen last week. I was putting my bracelet (for my birthday from my mom 5 years ago) on that I have been wearing almost daily since my mom passed and it broke. It is a very intricately beaded bracelet with colored pearls and other beads. I couldn't beleive it and will have to see if it can even be fixed. I almost had to shut it out of my mind because it was just another painful reminder of yet another part of her gone. It is amazing how the things that are left behind for us become the most prized and cherished possessions. I would agree with another post that maybe you could try the plumber and see what they say.

The holidays are tough and we will just have to keep reaching out for support. Please feel free to contact me at deewilkey@comcast.net We have spoken before, a few months ago.

Thinking of you,


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Oh, I'm so sorry this happened! I would have dissolved into a puddle myself.

Mom had an inexpensive (Avon, I think) ring that my daughter loved. She wore it every day since my Mom died. She took it off to play volleyball, and one of the 'pearls' fell out when someone knocked it over. She was crushed. Now I will take the little thing to a jeweler to have it fixed, if they can.

It might by just a necklace, or a ring to some, but it is also a physical connection to our lost loved one. I pray you can get your necklace back. If not, I pray for peace in yur heart about it.


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I am soooo sorry. I am not a caregiver, but a survivor so I have not experienced the feelings you have but when I read your post I wanted to cry. I hope that the necklace is sitting in the pipes waiting to be rescued!!

If not, I would like to express to you that you need to remember that you will have your mom, and a lifetime of memories with your mom IN YOUR HEART ALWAYS!!

Keep us posted and hugs to you

Patti B.

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