mamasbabygirl Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Thanksgiving..ahhh...the memories are so great. Like Katie, I am making dinner for a few people (in John's family) today for this first time. Building up to today has been awful for everyone around me. I can't keep it together, but I know that I need to. Grief takes a powerful hold over me and makes me lose focus on what I need to do. If SHE was still here, life would be good. Without her, it feels empty, even on Thanksgiving. I know it is wrong. I have my children and I ask that you all pray that I can get myself together to be thankful for them. If SHE was still here, she'd be here with me and the celery and onion would be boiling on the stove. We'd be excited about the upcoming parade. Instead, I am motionless on the loveseat, frozen by fear realized-this is my life and I don't like it. The celery and onion await me, but the tears won't stop and my heart hurts so bad that it feels like my chest is going to burst open. My brother and stepdad, needless to say, will not be here. My life, as I knew it, is different. I hardly see them. They are part of stepdad's family now. I was not even invited to my brother's birthday celebration. I do NOT for one moment regret anything I did for my mom, stepping on toes and all. But, if SHE was here, that never ever would have happened. I did make him a cake and have him over, it was like a sidenote. I have got to find some inspiration to get myself moving today. It is so hard to live this new reality. How I wish, how I wish you were here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Lori THink HAppy thoughts and Fun memories. Memories are something no one can ever take away from any of us. Trust me I know how hard it is.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 It's hard for me today, too. My approach to the day will be to cherish the treasured memories I had with Mom, and try to create some new ones today as well. I'll be getting together with others who knew and loved her, and hopefully we will laugh and joke bout her, and not ignore her absence like the elephant in the room. I hope your day goes well. I will pray for you. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 (((Lori))), it's hard. I went through a crying spell yesterday. Out of the blue, I just fell apart.. I'm only cooking for myself and youngest son. I hear Mike's voice in my head. No matter what was prepared, he acted like it was the most wonderful thing in the world. The weekend after, we would be getting out the xmas decor..... Christmas, another hard time. Hope you will feel better, after a good cry , and be able to make the best of your day. God Bless, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 It's a sad day here too. Tomorrow is John's birthday and the kids and I will do lunch at their favorite place (that only their dad took them to). It's an old dive of a bar that serves the best coney islands in town. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Lori - I have nothing to say except... know that I care... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 (((Lori))) No words, just lots of hugs and prayers for strength.... Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 (((((Lori))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 (((((Lori))))) I know, too. We are getting close to eating here. It is tough, though. Charlie loved to cook. These days I think are harder because he was such a part of the kitchen. Take care and God bless you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 ((((Lori))))) Hard day honey, but Mom would have loved your determination. Hugs and hugs and hugs. Pat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mskim Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 I know too.. I thought I would just check to see how you all are. I have been avoiding. Thanksgiving was just for me like you and Katie. I could have written your posts myself. You are all in my prayers. This reality still and always crushes my heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teriw Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Lori, I saw this post a bit late, but a big hug for you nonetheless... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomsGirl Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 I know, I really do... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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