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teriw

Firsts

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The holidays are here...oy :?

This Thanksgiving was also my birthday. For me, it was the first major holiday and first birthday without my Bill. We had all these plans. I know you all did too. It sucks to know they won't be. "It sucks" is such an understatement. I go back and forth between wanting to "do" some of our plans still, and wanting to do anything but those plans.

At first I thought I'd escape somewhere. But how do you escape from grief? (It's always so much better in theory -- so "Hollywood.") I thought better of it (as I have for Christmas), and decided to be with my family. Good decision.

My parents are awesome. They planned all these things. We went to a play (The Producers) and saw the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit. We spent time with family (my wonderful niece and her hubby and kiddies, and my brother, who drove forever for a short visit, and our insane canines). They kept me busy. They showed me love. We honored Bill -- my mom saved his place at the table and put out two framed pictures of him -- one serious, one funny. He was with us as much as he could be. We missed him ever so much. He made us laugh. He made everything special and fun and memorable. The void was enormous. We did our best to fill it for each other. What more can you ask?

We're all missing our loved ones through the holidays. I got home tonight and the second thing I did was turn on my computer and come here. Needed to check on my lcsc family.

I'm thankful for you all.

With love,

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Our holiday was hard too. I just kept wanting the day to pass and be over. The day after Thanksgiving was John's birthday so we had two "first" days to get through. Saturday was "date night" -- John and I always went to dinner on Saturday night. Last night after walking the mall with my 16 year old, we stopped at this nice restaurant for dinner. We toasted John and I just started to cry, I miss him so much.

Rochelle

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Hi Teri..

I havent posted in a while but I read from time to time...I saw your post and wanted to reply... our timelines are similar and I too had my first holiday without Chris. All in all things went surprisingly better that I had thought. I have spoken to many in this same situation and it seems as though sometimes the anticipation takes more of a toll on us than the actual event. I too spent much time contemplating what to do and what not to do. Thanksgiving Day itself was quiet...just my daughter and I but yesterday we made the trek to my SIL's house...she has a family get together every year at her house..usually 25 people or more.. I wasnt sure if I wanted to be there without Chris. But my daughter wanted to go so we did. I had a talk with my SIL when I was there... when something like this happens... we all have to deal with "firsts" at one point or another....sometimes it is best to just push through it and "get it over with"...I know if I had decided to ignore all of this...then next year would come around and that "first" would still be looming overhead.... All in all it was a good day...there were tears...and fighting back of tears...but there were also happy memories and anecdotes shared which made the day special. I am glad I did it. It is done... and now on to Christmas!!

I am glad you seemed to be able to find some peace this weekend....

I wish everyone dealing with their "firsts" the strength to "push through" and hopefully find some amount of peace as well

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Hey, Teri-

Happy Belated Birthday! My birthday was on Thanksgiving too! I kept forgetting it was my birthday, because as you know, that only happens to us every seven years. My daughter put a candle on a piece of pumpkin pie for me. :lol:

Glad the day was as good as it could be for you. Those "firsts" are indeed hard.

(((Teri)))

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Hi Terri--

I hear you. My birthday (Nov. 1)was a tough one this year too--as my dad died was declining quickly that day and died the day after.

We made it through Thanksgiving--we even managed to go around the table and say what we were thankful for. That was something I didn't think I would be able to do--since this year has just been so awful. It actually seemed like a good exercise...to think about the good things that happened even in the midst of incredible sadness.

We actually laughed a lot. We talked a lot about my dad. We had a new person at our table (my cousin's new boyfriend) and we managed to make him feel welcome while still talking a lot about my dad and everything that has happened the past few weeks.

As my mom and I kept saying again and again, at least we don't have to go through a first Thanksgiving without dad again.

My thoughts are with you.

Best,

Leslie

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(((Teri)))

I'm so glad you have such a wonderful family to love you and keep you busy and who honor and love Bill. Happy belated Birthday!

RY,

(((hug)))

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