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need help coping with the inevitable


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Hi

Thanks for your replies when I have posted on this board. I really appreciate them. You all are a very encouraging group and it's sort of hard to report bad news because most of you are so upbeat.

But here goes...Dad is indeed losing this battle...he fought a brave fight for 5 years but now his body is just too tired to fight. They have stopped treating his cancer, he is taking morphine and not eating much. I could really use some words of wisdom about a few things.

Dad's too weak to talk and I'm pretty introverted so the phone conversations are a bit strained...do you have any suggestions about things to talk about after I've reported the days activities?

His girlfriend and I don't get along well at all but I have to bite my tongue because she is taking care of him and is my only source of reports on how he is doing. Any suggestions on how to help her from a distance? i.e. stay on her good side.

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So sorry to hear your news and I know that this must be a hard time for you. I wish that I had some words of advice that would make you feel better. Hang in there and keep us posted.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Renee

Mom dx 9-02 NSCLC stage 4

8 weeks radiation and 4 chemo's down.

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Caroline, I would reminisce with your dad -- talk about the good times, the fun times, the meaningful times of the past. Give him a walk down memeory lane each time. Tell him you love him.

As for the girlfriend, thank her for the good care she is giving your dad and how much you appreciate it. Let her know that you sense what an emotional roller coaster this is for her. Listen.

My prayers are with you and your dad and the girl friend. Don

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Amen Don,

I was thinking the same thing! You said it perfectly. Try to tie in something simple that happened to you today with something fun and wonderful from the past. I have a hard time sometimes talking to my dad. I visit with him everyday and if something doesn't "happen" there isn't much to say. I talk about current events, (Mixed with past events) and joke about something that I can relate to the past. I'm there, so he knows I love him, then I tell him anyway. That's all I can really do. Hope that helped.

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