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Mother has cancer, what do I do?

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Hello everybody. Im a young college student who's mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer an hour ago. I dont have all the details but she had a lump taken out last week for a biopsy. We just got the results today only to find out the lump has squamous cancerous lung cells in it. The cancer isnt in her lungs however but its on the mid sternum. My mom looks and feels fine. She has never coughed up blood or anything like that. She started chantix last week to quit smoking after I begged her for 5 years to quit and I'm really angry that it took her this long to realize she needed to stop smoking. Im really afraid right now as well as angry and just trying to educate myself as well as my mother as to what kind of fight were up against. Shes going in wednesday to see a specialist and see what treatment options are available. If you could offer any advice or info to help me out it would greatly be appreciated. Keep her in your prayers please.

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Your Mom is going through some difficult emotions and I was told when my Mom was dx with lung cancer that only someone who was going through or who had been through the same thing could truly understand all that she is feeling. I as a daughter can understand how you feel though. You are scared and angry. Angry at her because of what you possibly feel may be a self-inflicting disease. I tell you now that you cannot blame. Your Mom may be saying the same thing to herself and it is productive for no one. Take charge of this disease and the care of your Mother in as much as you can. This requires support from the entire family. This site also brings great comfort in being able to talk about your feelings and a wonderful source of information about lung cancer.

You will see the people here are wonderful. It will bring you comfort and peace in your battle as this is a battle, make no mistake about that.

My prayers and good thoughts come your way.


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Agent, I am sorry you and your mom have found yourself at the place you are.

There are a LOT of survivors here! Don't ever let anyone dismiss you. Ask all the questions you want or can think of of your doctors.

I understand the anger, and I would never say don't be angry, I've been told that one which is laughable. But put the anger aside right now. Fight for her, be her greatest support. Tell her you want whatever she wants, because that will make whatever treatment she chooses feel more like she is in this with you together.

I wish you the very best, we'll be here when you need us. All you need to do is post.

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I would also add that you don't know and you may never know if smoking is what caused your mom's cancer. A lot of people smoke like a chimney their entire lives and never get sick. Many others (way too many, and we don't really know why) have never touched a cigarette, have had very little second-hand smoke exposure, haven't worked around carcinogenic materials, have little or no history of cancer in their families, yet get lung cancer in their twenties.

Add to that the fact that quitting smoking is relatively easy for some, essentially impossible for others, and somewhere in between for the rest. And I don't think willpower, appeals from loved ones, or knowledge of tobacco's harmful effects make much difference. It's an addiction, sometimes an extremely strong addiction. For me to tell someone that I quit smoking 44 years ago (which is true), then go on to say that they should be able to quit too, is less than helpful and I simply don't do it. Your mom needs all the love and understanding you can give her right now.

My Aloha,


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Welcome Agent...and sorry you've had to find your way here...but really glad you have!

I remember finding this place what seems like eons ago now and feeling the same things that you're feeling (minus the smoking anger...Mom had quit 20 years before her diagnosis) and not knowing which way was up. This is a wonderful place of knowledge full of survivors and HOPE!

Ditto to what Nick said about not letting anyone dismiss you along the way. This is a fight for her life and she needs every single person who's fighting with her to be willing to go all out!

One thing I did want to mention about the Chantix. I took it to quit smoking (yup, Mom had lung cancer and I'm still smoking :roll: ) and one of the side effects that *can* show up that they don't talk alot about is depression and an increase in suicidal thoughts. PLEASE, watch your mom closely for such things, especially with the diagnosis...depression can really creep up.

Best of luck to you and your mom...let us know how we can help along the way!

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I am so sorry you need to be here. Please know you have come to an amazing place! You will get valuable information here, as well as love and support.

My advice....

Learn all you can

Throw stats out the window and focus on the positive

Have mom keep something in her stomach during chemo...even something little just to ward off the nausea

GermX and Handwashing are a must during chemo

Have her drink water, water, water

Show her love, support, and hope

Pray - God grants the miracle of healing every day.


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I too am sorry you had to find out about this board but the people here is awesome. When I was having down days durning my grandpas chemo & radiation the support here was the best therpy to me. Everyone here understand you and they are all so encouraging. The battle is just begining but hanging in there and even when your head is spinning in circles stop by and vist, it makes you feel better. Hugs to you and your family, Brandy

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