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Apparently I'm only human...scroll down for update 12/13


Geri

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or so my daughter informed me today!

Things here have been a little rough lately, the cure is definitely worse than the disease right now. I have been having increasing difficuties with SOB over the last couple of months which came to a head last week.

No need to send you all to sleep with the details but with the help of Lasix my lungs (yes my lovely clean cancer free lungs) have been emptied of the fluid, however my heart is now suspect for damage due to the chemo - I can't fail to see the irony in this one should it prove true :shock:

I see a cardiologist tomorrow after an echocardiogram and hopefully she'll be able to shed some light on what's going on. I had a muga (sp?) test before the start of chemo as heart damage is a 'slight' risk with the type of tx I had sooo.........5 months ago my heart was good and I'm keeping everything crossed that this is just a temporary problem.

Today I had a melt down, Richard is still communting and had gone back to VT yesterday after my clean bill of health from the onc re my most recent breathing crisis. Wouldn't you know it today it's baaaack! Not quite as bad as last week but enough that I'm only moving when I have to, so my daughter who practices Reiki on me came by again to give me the once over. She arrived to find me snivelling into a kleenex feeling very sorry for myself.

I'm having a great deal of difficulty dealing with the loss of independence right now and it pisses me off that someone else has to help me with so many ordinary things.

Anyway Karen took no prisoners, welcomed me to the human race and reminded me that I don't mind doing things for other people so get over it so to speak, these things happen and now it was my turn to accept the help I needed.

She then made dinner! What a gem. She takes me to appts when Richard can't get back here (and anywhere else that maybe too far for me to manage), brings me dinner, has given me a card before each tx to cheer me on and today she put me in my place during my pity party - which she did join in for a while - all the while working 10+ hour days, I guess we did do something right when she was younger :wink::lol::lol:

I didn't mean to turn this into a novel but if I helped with anyone's insomnia tonight - it was my pleasure! Now I shall return to my recliner and try to get some sleep.

Thanks for listening

Geri

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Despite all teh aggravating Teen age years Kids are still a blessing in Life!!!!So glad your daughter is able to help you out when you need some support and companionship. Praying for good results with cardioligist and sending big hugs((((((((((()))))))))) :lol::):D

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Geri -

I am so sorry that you are having some problems right now. I know how the chemos can zap your body.

But.....I am so glad to hear that you have an amazingly special daughter who is so thoughtful and helpful to you. Give her a hug from me!!

Hope you start to get back on the right track - please keep us posted.

Hugs to You - Patti B.

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(((Geri))),

It's hard to visualize you not smiling( like your picture), but you are only human. I'm so so very sorry you are having to go through all of this. Being sob is such a debilitating thing. So glad your daughter is there to help. Know that I will be praying for you. Let us know how everything the cardiologist has to say. Take care .

God Bless,

Sue

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Oh geez, Geri. I guess you've answered my question why you've been so 'silent' lately. I thought since chemo was done and rad hadn't started you were out painting Boston red ~ so to speak. Okay, I am onto some serious hand wringing. I'm certain that will improve your situation :shock: .

In all seriousness, Geri, let's hope this is due to just going through so much that your 'ole' (sorry) body just has to take some time to regroup itself. And you certainly are blessed with one great daughter. I'm sure Rock has his hand in it as well.

Well, friend, you know you have my wishes and very best thoughts for resolution to all this. Remember that you 'DON'T' want me to visit......right :wink: ? I know you are great at hanging in there. Sorry you have to. In the meantime.....fa la 'friggin' la!

Kasey

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I'm so glad you have Karen. She is wonderful and she is a reflection of you!

I hate hearing how bad you're feeling and I pray that it eases up on you soon.

From one daughter to another, give your daughter a hug from me for taking such great care of her mom.

((hugs))

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Geri-

I am sorry you're having more issues. John had some heart damage from chemo and it was relieved with medication to make his heart pump stronger. I hope this is something that can be easily corrected.

Karen is a good daughter. You should be so proud.

Rochelle

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Oh Geri, This really sucks, but I can TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOUR FRUSTRATION!! I am living proof that chemo and radiation has damaged my heart. All Cardiologists I have seen over the last 4 years have agreed that my heart damage is because from my treatments.

I only hope this is something mild for you and can be an easy fix. If you want to chat about it, feel free to PM me.

Thank GOD for family and friends at times when we REALLY NEED THEM! I know how it feels to have the rug pulled out from under you. I'm heading in that direction again in another week when I have my heart surgery.

I HATE depending on others, but I love them for being here for me. It's so hard when you have been in control of things for so long.

((((((GERI)))))))))

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Thanks for all the support, the outcome of being poked and prodded yesterday is that I have a leaky valve but the heart muscle is strong. Not chemo related she said - yeah right! - so am having a catherization tomorrow to see where we go from here, surgical or medical.

As for Karen and Rock they are now sound aslepp in the guest room and are there until Richard gets home.......Rock asked me if I wanted a sleepover when he came in for his dinner last night. He said he wouldn't want to be alone and didn't think I should be either - what a gem she found - and as I'd be more comfortable here they were going home for their pyjamas! I'm truly blessed, Karen I guess this really does cancel out your teen years :lol::lol::lol:

So many people have asked in amazemant why we are retiring to MA.........I guess this is the answer!

Kasey, feel free to do some hand wringing over me, I think this time deserves a little at least :lol::lol:

Later

Geri

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Geri,

Your move to MA is the best retiring

decision you made.

Karen sounds like a gem and you should

be proud of her and Rock, so nice to

be offered their sleep over the way it

was presented.

Keep us posted for the leaky valve (not

chemo related!!) and sending you wishes

that all will be fine and you will bounce

back to have a good Chtistmas.

Hugs

Jackie

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I can remember my sister being frustrated that she "needed" help. I think what helped her through that and to realize that she was blessed to have people around was when I reminded her.."You would do it for me". That seem to take some of the guilt she had away.

You know you would do it for your daughter...so let her do it for you. It made me happy and it made me feel like I was giving back when my sister finally gave in and just told me what she needed me to do. I am so thankful that she did.

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I can remember my sister being frustrated that she "needed" help. I think what helped her through that and to realize that she was blessed to have people around was when I reminded her.."You would do it for me". That seem to take some of the guilt she had away.

You know you would do it for your daughter...so let her do it for you. It made me happy and it made me feel like I was giving back when my sister finally gave in and just told me what she needed me to do. I am so thankful that she did.

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