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I'm afraid Dad is giving up

Carolyn Cruickshanks

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Hey Guys,

I read the news posts nearly every day. It's been a busy few weeks for our family. Dad started his chemo and radiation but is backing off. He has been so sick and and at times he says it's not worth it. We had to put him in the hospital for a couple days to get his fluids built up. He has lost so much weight. I'm scared and want to keep encouraging him to go for treatment but it is his body and his life. Another bad thing about going for treatments is that he has to travel approx. 150 miles round trip and he is so weak and tired. My mom gets so upset with him and even gets short with him. Does anyone understand and have anything to offer?

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Hi and I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I can't really understand your Dad not wanting to fight, as my Dad fought very hard through his entire battle. BUT and a big BUT.... he was blessed with few side effects of treatment - so there is no comparison to what your Daddy is going through.

What I can relate to is how your Mom is behaving. My Mom did the same thing to my Dad his final weeks, she would become very agitated that he wasnt "able" to do certain things and almost blame him. It was very upsetting to listen too. When I look back on it now, I realize it was her way of protecting herself. I believe she was so much in denial about his condition that she truly believed if he just "tried harder" he could get better. It was almost a self-preservation thing. If she truly realized the depth of his illness, I think she would have never been able to deal with it. My Mom was 75 at the time, I don't know how old your Mom is, but, I am not sure age has much to do with it.

I am here if you need to talk, you can PM me anytime.

Again, I am sorry you are dealing with this and I will keep your Daddy in my prayers.

Love, Sharon

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Hi. I had a real hard time with treatment also, but kept fighting. Lost a total of 50 lbs. But have gained it all back and feel great. I felt bad for 4 months, then started coming back. Feel so normal now. Let him know. No treatment is death, for sure. Treatment is a chance to beat it. But it's not easy. Good luck. Hugs, Liz

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Dad finally decided no more treatments. I am scared, hurt and a little disappointed but I understand. He was so worn down when we finally got a diagnosis and since enduring a couple months of treatment he has lost nearly 20 pounds and was sick all the time. It is his choice but again, I'm scared of what is to come.

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