karenlaureti Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 To everyone at there grieving right now, I am thinking of all of you. I lost my Daddy on October 6th and this is my first Christmas without him. It seems harder now than a month ago. I think it is because now, I just miss him so much. It still doesn't seem real and I feel that our whole family dynamics has changed since he has passed. I think of him in heaven and the peace he feels. I feel him in my heart always. I just really wish Christmas was over. So wierd how people feel badly in the beginning when you lose someone, yet, they feel like you should move on and you feel like you are just in limbo. I am blessed that I have my children as they keep me going. I just wanted all of you to know how much I am thinking of all of you. I don't respond much lately but want to help others going through what I went through. My Dad just went so quickly, not even a year. Hugs to all of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisaRN Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 hi karen....i am so sorry for your loss....i know firsthand how very difficult it is especially during holidays, anniversaries and birthdays.... i lost my husband 3 years ago this month..... thanksgiving was our last holiday together....thanksgiving oddly enough seems to be one of the harder times in the year....the memories of him suffering from this ruthless disease i guess are what makes it so difficult....i believe part of my sadness stems also from wanting to hold on to that holiday as though it is somehow connected to him.... i understand how difficult it is to hear people tell you that you have to move on....personally i felt guilty to even consider moving on.... the pain and sadness never really go away but it does somehow find it's place.... a place somewhere deep in your heart and in your memories..... tucked away allowing you to go through the motions of life....perhaps even being able to appear to "have moved on"..... i find it difficult to look at pictures....they always make me cry.... my son wants to view old home movies and i have not reached that point yet.... sometimes i hate that my crying or being sad makes everyone so upset.... i feel often that i have earned an inherent right to feel whatever way i choose without everyone thinking i have gone off the deep end..... what i have come to realize though is that my moments of sadness are just that....moments....moments in a universe filled with time that no one can really catch hold of.....but my memories.... they are mine..... embedded in me..... forever.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 ((((Karen)))) I don't have words to make things easier but please know I am thinking of you and sending many hugs and prayers. What a wonderful gesture for you to post thinking of others while you are still in such pain. Your Dad is proud of you, I am certain. Warmly, Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leslie Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Oh Karen, I know how you are feeling. If it wasn't for my mom, brother, and husband--I don't know how I would continue. I miss my dad so much and our family dynamics have also changed. And I feel very much in limbo and not ready to move on. I still feel so shocked by everything that happened. Within six months, my dad--having never been sick before--got very sick and then he died. That statement is simply unbelievable to me. I find myself shocked by that statement several times a day. And the part that is so hard--is that this is permanent. And I miss him so. So, I wish you peace and strength and I just want you to know that you are not alone. Best, Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredmom959 Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Boy, can I relate right now. My mom passed away 11/23 ... everything I've been doing preparing for the holidays (I feel like I have to do something for my kids, even though they're older, and my dad, too) reminds me of her. I agree, too, that it's getting harder as time passes. Maybe at first you go on auto-pilot and then after a while reality sets in that you are really never going to see them again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbb Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Karen, I am so sorry for your loss and for your pain. No one has a right to tell us when it is time to move on. I "move on" by getting out of bed everyday. Lisa, I am glad to see you say that the pain and sadness find a place in our lives, it feels like it will always float at the top of everything. We HAVE earned the right to feel how we feel, everyone here has that right. Besides, how can we change our feelings, we can put on the game face in public but even then our sorrow can be seen. "We greive because we loved" Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teriw Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Hugs back to you, Karen. May you find joy within the sorrow during this season. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 IT does get easier SOME DAYS after the holidays. Holidays are hardest because we basically have to put on the Big Happy Smiley Face and Be joyous and Cherful beacuse everyone around us is. Yes its true and Yes it Hurts Like All get out!!!!!!!!! I know this is Xmas number 2 for me. and that is still how I feel much Like you. We have to get out of bed every morning. WE have to breathe in and out. WE DON"T have to be happy eveery minute of every day though, only if we want to be. THink of the fun and Happy times when you want and it may help somewhat.Be blue if and when you want also though. PRayers and Hugs this season and its not all about the presents its about the Love....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenlaureti Posted December 21, 2007 Author Share Posted December 21, 2007 Thanks so much, all of you for your kind words! I find comfort in knowing that all of you understand and feel the same things I do. I am so sorry that all of us have to feel like this. Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas. Thanks for all of you for being there for me! Much love! Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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