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I just want to say that I am having a great time with my family. I have to say Christmas does seem a little strange in some ways. I think not having a spouse or someone special to share it with takes some of the sparkle from the holidays.

I joined my sons and their families at the company Christmas party and that was really nice. I still think of them as little boys but I was able to see how others look at them with respect and admiration. That was pretty nice and to see two of my grandchildren talked highly about after they worked there for a while during the summer.

My daughter's new house is so nice and was such a perfect place for our Chrismas Eve and Christmas dinner. We had a wonderful dinner and a great time with family and friends. The children actually had to be woke up on Christmas morning. Not like when my kids were little but then Christmas was so special to them because they didn't have everything and looked forward to all of their gifts. Today the grandkids already have everything so they just don't get as excited. Still it was wonderful and of coarse those two babies add such joy.

I went after Christmas shopping with my daughter yesterday and helped her pick out decorations for next year in her new house. Then last night I went to the show with my son and saw the new National Treasure movie. I am spending a few days here with him and his family while he is home. My granddaughter and her husband and the baby leave tomorrow moring to go back to Tennessee. I wish I could have more time with Caroline so she can get to know me enough for me to hold her.

So a lot is going on. I'm keeping busy but still miss my home. I think of all the Christmas times I spent with my ex husband and how much the family misses him and I think of all that I missed with Johnny. No matter how much joy there is always that under lying feeling of loss. For the most part all is good.

I did have a stange thing happen Christmas Morning. I hadn't really slept well. We were up late and I was kind of dozing all night instead of sleeping. About 7 am I heard Denis call my name just as clear as could be. It sounded like a reminder for me that it was time to get up. So I was up early before the rest of my daughter's family. Did get to have a quiet cup of coffee and reflect.

Anyway that is how things are with me right now. Having a great time with my family but still a lot of sadness for all I have lost.

I just hope all of you have a great New Year and that this will be the year that the cure will be found so no one else has to feel this ache for someone missing because of lung cancer.

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I'm so glad you checked in, because I've been thinking about you. Thanks for sharing your Christmas with us and putting into words the feelings that you know many of us are sharing during this time of the year.

May the rest of your stay be pleasant, with new happy memories being made.



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