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Mom 58 has stage 4 lung cancer


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My family and I are trying to find answers and help with regards to my mom whom has stage 4 cancer. She has kept us in the dark most of the time. I am sure some of yall are familiar with those strong personality types whom don't want to show any sign of weakness well that is her.

I found out she had breast cancer for the third time from her neighbor calling me the night before she was to go into surgery April 2007. (You wouldn't think we talk on a weekly basis) I flew out on the next flight and arrived as she was going into surgery.

The cancer unfortunetly had spread to both her lungs the Dr in private discussed the fact that she had the cancer in both her lungs since her last bout with breast cancer 2 years prior as it was progresed.

I found out shortly after that one of her lymph nodes was dirty in the biop. two years prior.

She has been on traditional chemo and they stopped the chemo last month.

The Dr is now suggesting a clinical trial Gemcarbo I think BSI201. If anyone has any information please forward. We are planning our next trip in the next couple of weeks. (We live approximatley 2000 miles away by the Oregon border and she resides in Texas)

At what point do you insist on a loved one leaving their home to live with you? She is loved by my husband Jon, Cody 8 and Zane 2.

Thank You,

Cynthia Wiliams

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I am sorry you had reason to find us but so glad you have posted!

I do not have answers for you but the others will be along soon I am sure with some great advice.

Please read through the other forums to get an idea of what our members have been through. There is so much hope to be found here~

Please keep posting and let us know how things are going.



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Welcome to our family. I am so sorry to hear of what your family is going through. I hope you can find the support here that will help you during this time.

I can not answer that question but I was talking to someone yeasterday (another caregiver at support group) about the same issue. She was wanting her brother (stage 4) to come and live with her. But, he was not ready to make that commitment. He liked where he was living and was comfortable with having his place with his stuff. I am not sure if you situation is the same but she decided to wait until he was ready or was not able to take care of himself.

Hope this helps!!

God Bless You!!


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I am so sorry to hear about the progression of your mom's breast cancer into the lungs. As the daughter of a strong-willed mother, I think you have to let her decide when it is time to give up her independence. I know that will be the last thing my mom will want to let go of. With everything else going on in her life she is probably conforted by being in her own home. Unless she is unable to care for herself, you should probably respect her wishes.


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Hi there Cynthia,my husband is currently having Gemcarbo treatment for non-small cell lung cancer.He has had 3cycles and today had a cat scan to see how his tumour is responding.He has had very few side effects -no sickness,no hair loss and apart from the odd twinge pain free.I do know that blood tests monitored his kidney and liver function because this particular chemo can affect those areas,We will know next week just how succesful this treatment has been.By the way we live in Wales uk and this is the only survivors net work I could find so maybe the treatment is better were you guys live x

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Hi Cynthia. My parents must have gone to the same school as your mom - hide things from your children. I have come to believe (or it will drive me nuts otherwise) that they simply do this to protect me/us. I am 47 and have tried to explain to them that I need to know the truth about their health so that we can work together towards a solution. My mom was headed in for surgery for colon cancer five years ago (at least she finally told me about that) and the doctor looks and me and my dad and says "I will let you know if that spot on the liver we saw on CT is malignant". WHAT?!? She felt there was no point worrying us about some little old spot. Turns out, it was just a shadow on the film-so glad she was right. That is just one example. Both my parents are famous for this - deny/hide/don't share. As their daughter it is frustrating; as a parent, I get it...you want to keep bad things from your kids lives.

It sounds as though your mom is a force to be reckoned with - that will serve her well I think. I hope the trial the doc is suggesting is just the ticket.

Anyhow, no words of wisdom - I just want you to know I am thinking of you and hope that everything falls into place as far as your mom's living arrangements, etc. Remember though, take care of yourself too.


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You mentioned your Mom has a neighbor she shares her medical conditions with. Could it be ( I'm just throwing this out there) she considers this gal a BFF? Can you keep in touch w/ her local friends in her community? Her roots are probbaly there I suspect. It's a tough spot to be in I'll give you that. keep posting please to let us know how you are doing. Mary

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Welcome Cynthia: I hope your mom finds a treatment that gets her on track to stability at least. Living by the Oregon border sounds kind of nice if it is eastern Oregon. You could invite your mom out for a visit. She might like to see the grandkids. I recently visited my 2nd son and his family in Arizona and had a good time. I spent 3 days with my first son and his family. If you just start out with a visit, maybe things could evolve to a more permanent situation. If I had to, I could feel comfortable at either son' s house, but I intend to stay at my place as long as I possibly can. I sure enjoyed the time with the grandkids though.

Don M

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Your mom is an extremely strong independent individual. It would have to be her decision alone to decide to pick herself up from her safe place and leave.

In a perfect world it would be wonderful for her to be near you and her grandchildren, but this will have to be her decision and you will have to just agree with whatever she decides.

I could definetly see your point as she is your mom and you worry about her. Also you have to travel quite a distance to be near her. It would be so much better to have her close.

Is she alone? Is any family near her?

Keep us posted on her progress with the drug.


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  • 3 months later...

Hi Cynthia. Sorry you had to find us here. All patients deal with this thing in their own way. I hope she gets on a treatment plan soon. If you want to know more then tell her that. She is obviously just trying to protect her loved ones and that is most admirable. Take care

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