Jump to content

It's just too much


cjolaw

Recommended Posts

It's just too much to watch her struggle. To see her stare at me as though she wants to say something, but can't. It's just too much to have a conversation with only a reply of a few yes's or no's. It's just too much to watch my dad help her to her feet, rub her back as she throws up the few bites of food she managed to choke down. It's just too much to have to watch her slowly wither away. It's just too much to see her hair a mess, her makeup non-existant, her color flat. It's just too much to witness her in pain. It's just too much to realize that this beast we call lung cancer is taking my mother from me. It's just too much.

Carrie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

(((((Carrie)))))

I understand exactly what you mean. I don't know what to say. It is very difficult. Somehow you need to get the doctor to help with the pain and nausea.

You will find you have incredible strength to keep helping your mom and dad. The Lord will provide. My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this most difficult time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Carrie, I am sorry you and your family are having to go through this. It is terribly difficult to watch someone suffer...especially when you can not help. I know that my sister was very appreciative that we were just there with her. She hated that we were having to go through that too. You just have no choice, but to do everything you can to help your Mom get through this. She appreciates it and loves you for it.

I hope things improve and I will be praying for you and your family.

Love,

Bobby

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Carrie,

I feel your pain and I know your heart is broken. My mom is my best friend as well as my mom and I would trade places with her to endure it so she wouldn't have to go through any of it. I just don't understand why the suffering in this life and I don't think I ever will. You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.

Marci

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Carrie, I know, I know, I know. :cry: As the sticker on my car, my favorite t-shirt and my armband says: Cancer sucks! And it's not fair to watch your loved ones go through this. I watched my Dad and two months later my Mom started. I am trying hard to erase the memories of them at the end. Hugs and prayers go out to you. Somehow we manage...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you all very much for your thoughts and prayers. I was just feeling overwhelmed yesterday. I have three sisters and we are all taking one day a week with mom, because she can't be at home alone anymore. I had yesterday, my older sister had today and said she was a little more talkative, which is good. Unfortunately her platlets keep dropping. They are down to 24,000. She'll be checked tomorrow to see where the platelet count is.

One day at a time. Breathe in, breathe out.

Carrie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Carrie,

We are now into Monday. How are the platelets? How is mom feeling? I still want you to know that if there is anything I can do, I am more than willing. How are you on meals? How is dad doing? How are your sisters? What about your kids? If you need me to watch them, let me know, so that hubby can go with you. I mean it, Carrie, anything.

Prayers,

Jen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just an update. Platlets are moving into the 50,000's. But her hemoglobin and white blood cell counts were low... so another blood transfusion. She getting very tired and is having alot of breakthrough pain, which needs to get under control... we'll go see the dr. again tomorrow.

Thanks Jen for the support. I have a great family, and my sisters are really pitching in too.

My dad is distraught, very depressed, but doing everything he can to keep mom comfortable.

I can't believe how quickly things start to move downhill. It was just a few months ago she was working 50 hours a week...

I salute those of you have battled this beast and who are currently battling it. I also salute the caregivers who walk beside them.

Carrie

mom dx age 55 November 2006, adenocarcinoma NSCLC, malignant pleural effusion.

pleurex catheter inserted-mayo clinic

cisplatin/taxotere/avastin...major shrinkage of main tumor!

Avastin only

progression...alimta

progression...tarceva

progression...carbo/gemzar

only has had one infusion...very weak and blood levels not good.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Carrie, my wife, Inez and I do understand, somewhat, what you are feeling as we went through this with Inez's mom, who passed on last month from Alzheimers. Really have no sage advice other than keep holding on and try to stay as positive as you can. Promise you it will get better down the road. It is never easy. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Carrie: I think many of us who have cancer would prefer having it ourselves rather than witnessing a loved one go through what you describe. My heart goes out to you. You have a talent, however, for putting your feelings down in the written word. Keep doing it. I believe it will give you some little comfort.

Judy in Key West

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...