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one year ago


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A year ago, Carlton, the girls and myself would be going to one last function as a family together. I was the girls' music recital. My oldest, 12 plays cello, my youngest 10, plays the violin.

Last year, this recital was going to be special, my oldest had a solo and it was my youngest first recital. I remember that day Carlton was not feeling well at all, I know all the meds, chemo, had worn him down so. I wanted him to go, i pleaded with him, the recital was down the street and if he had to leave at any time, I would take him home ( my mom and brother were going to be there).. he looked at me with tears in my eyes, I knew it was alot to ask for. Then my daughters asked daddy, they wanted him to go so badly. I knew he wouldn't let them down, he couldn't ( not in his eyes).

I remember getting there, he was weak, we sat in the balcony. I reminded him, if he wanted to go, anytime....when the girls came out on stage...they looked all around the hall, I know they were looking for daddy, when they saw us, no, when they saw him...their eyes lit up and big smiles on their beautiful faces. Then I saw his look, one of pride, of love, of no matter how he felt, he needed to be there..( perhaps he knew, I didn't want to face the reality at that time)....

my oldest did her solo, she was recognized publically, oh daddys' pride and then our youngest came out...her first time on the big stage...again, he was a proud daddy.

He made it through the day, I know now it took all this strength, physically and mentally.

If there is one thing that I can be happy about, is that he got to see his girls perform for one last time....

***Today was the girls' recital, no solos or first times performances...they were wonderful...I would love to think that Carlton was with us...


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