Guest MomOTwins40 Posted April 2, 2003 Share Posted April 2, 2003 Ok, today I asked the hard questions. One of them was the following "And if the cancer recurs, what then?" Dr. C. "It is incurable, we cannot cure it." Husband "But there are medicines you would give right?" Dr. C. "Yes." No elaboration, no nothing. When I asked, why is it incurable if it comes back he said "Because it usually comes back in other places." Would anyone here care to elaborate, give me some details. I was under the impression that if I had mets to the liver, for instance, then I would start being treated for liver cancer, and could beat it. I need some help because I was kind of speechless after what the dr. said and all I wanted to do was go hide in the bathroom and cry. I know I should have asked more questions, but I couldn't think of them. Thanks for any info you can give me. I really want to understand this thing. Veronica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdaW Posted April 2, 2003 Share Posted April 2, 2003 Dear Veronica, When I was first diagnosed, I bought a book (through Amazon) called Lung Cancer, Making Sense of Diagnosis, Treatment and Options by Lorraine Johnston. It has been an excellent resource for me. There are other books on the market now. I'm sure others on the board can give you suggestions. I think you need a good resource to answer some of your questions. ALCASE also has a very good resource. I noticed a copy of it in my oncologist's office. Go to www.alcase.org to find out more about this resource. One of the most important things I have learned since diagnosis is that when a cancer (lung cancer for example) spreads to an organ (the liver for example) you do not have liver cancer, but lung cancer that has metasticised (sp) to the liver. Remember I told you that each person is an individual case? I had a recurrance in August and it was after that (and after "failing" another chemo) that they decided to do surgery on me! It's because it looked like the tumor was contained in my lower right lobe and had spread to only a few lymph nodes. So in a way the recurrance helped them to look at my case differently. I am not a medical person, but I am a person with Stage IIIA Lung Cancer. I feel like I've been through the mill. I feel like you are asking the same exact questions I asked and are feeling the same way I have felt. During the week, when you are thinking about these questions write them down and take them to your next appt. Ask the oncologist or the physician's asst. or your nurse. They'll answer your questions. Of course, I'm giving this advice now. When I was actively getting chemo I was afraid to ask questions because I was afraid of the answers!!!! The big question is "what are my options?" Have you inquired about all the different chemo regimens? If I remember correctly, you were responding really well to your chemo. That's such a plus. The only chemo I ever had any luck with was Taxotere. Have you asked the doctor about Iressa? I think Iressa needs to be a part of your discussion about your treatment plan. Ask more questions. Ada Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdaW Posted April 2, 2003 Share Posted April 2, 2003 P.S. Veronica, I have found that my oncologists don't like to look down the road too far. When I got up the courage to ask a question like, what happens if this doesn't work, they always told me it would work or we would cross that bridge when we get to it. Your oncolgogist sounds like he went to the same school as mine! Ada Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted April 3, 2003 Share Posted April 3, 2003 I think all oncologists went to the same school. They want to encourage without giving false hope. And, in a way, they are right -- stay in the present and work there and let the future take care of itself. That is the battle I thinkI finally won with my wife -- to stay in the present and do what we can now and we will cross the other bridges as we get to them. It is enough to expend time and energy fighting this dragon than to expend further time and energy we don't have worrying about down the road. My two cents. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alyse Posted April 3, 2003 Share Posted April 3, 2003 Veronica, In the beginning we too did not know what answers to ask. Then when we would leave the doctors office we would go "we should have asked this and that". THe shock of all of it was just too much. And we were so upset that are daughter was going to be without her father. After 2 visits with our oncologist, we realized that one of the reasons that we were not asking the questions we wanted to ask was because this doctor basically had written my husband off and wanted to be in complete control of what he did. Did not want us to ask the questions or discuss alternative treatments to go with the standard treatments. We changed to a new doctor who basically gave us the same info but his passion to keep my husband alive and fight this battle with us is what kept us moving forward and able to deal with any and everything. When we found out that a couple of tumors started to grow again, he was right back in the ring with us fighting. Will know in 2 months if we have gotten though this round. The one thing I learned from the books I read (the one from ALCASE is my bible) is that you have to be comfortable with your doctor and be part of the process. We finally found someone who said "let's see about making you the first STage IV Lung Cancer Patient to Survive. Best of luck though this journey. You will make it. Lots of prays coming your way. Alyse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara Posted April 3, 2003 Share Posted April 3, 2003 My Onc made a comment to me and the Onc Nurses kind of reinforced it by saying that they prefer to look at and treat late stage Cancers as chronic diseases. Right now there really is no "cure" - no magic bullet that will get rid of it completely. The use Chemo, Radiation, Surgery procedures to see what will stop or slow down any progression of the disease and lots and lots of drugs that can make the side effects more tolerable. For some dumb reason I found that this view was very comforting since I have an adult son who has dealt with Asthma since he was 5 years old so we do know all about chronic diseases. It is so very important (my opinion) to read about all kinds of helpful therapies that can be used like meditation, guided imagery and some of the books that Dr. Bernie Siegel has written to help get you head in the right place. Learning to live in the present and made the very most of every minute of each day became a whole new way of thinking for me and really made a difference. It is a long journey for some but well worth it. It make you feel that you have some control and can really change you life. It did mine! Peace and blessings, Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted April 3, 2003 Share Posted April 3, 2003 My take on those questions are... plain and simple.. maybe it is because of my job.. But you are asking a doctor who is ultimately the person you are going to, to heal and yes cure you of this disease your prognosis. He is responsible for your treatment.. I'm sure the disclaimer is the answer.. like the blahahahahab ... Cancer is tough and in some cases it does reoccur..bad treatment or nature.. who knows??? If he tells you treatments will cure you.. You can sue him! He is working at his job..Hence malpractice insurance.. So he gives you the glass is have empty answer. A good doctor would say "well give it our best shot. Well treat it and there is hope." Thats just what I think.. Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MomOTwins40 Posted April 3, 2003 Share Posted April 3, 2003 Thanks everyone for your replies. You're all right, especially Don, who said worrying about today is enough spending energy worrying about what might happen in the future is a waste. (Hitting forehead) wish I could get that through my head! Thanks everyone. Veronica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.