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Update on Mary


hawkeye

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I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while but its been really hectic here and I'm probably going to vent a bit. That said we had a scan done on 12-31-07. the results did not come back good. :cry: The tumors have grown and spread extensively. Mary has been in the hospital since feb 1.That day we had gone to the hospital to have some fluid drained from her lung which we did with some problems. It only gave her reliefe for a very short time. The doc also said that she had air on the outside of her lung(not good). That's when we got her admitted. A chest tube was out of the question because of how the tumor is situated and the doc;s weren't sure if it would seal properly which if it didn't would cause more problems. Surgery posed the same problems plus the fact that she is sooooo weak. This all said her brothers and sisters are all here along with her sons. The sons are handleing things well. The problem is with a couple of her brothers and sisters. They are ttrying to take over all of her care and not talking to me at all about it. This is very upsetting.Fortunately I talked to the nurses before and they know i have POA and what Mary's wishes are. It's just hard. The ones that are doting over her are the same ones that we going to "sue" her for not paying rent when she stayed at their deceased fathers house when she was getting divorced many years ago.And they actually forced her to pay them!!!!!!! Now ther'e trying to be all caring. Actually my "fix" has been to let them dote over her if it makes them feel better. I will have my time and Mary and I have had "our times". And it's givin me time to take care of a few things. Well I've rambled enough. We love each and everyone of you folks for all you support thru thhis journey.

Peace out

Mary and hawkeye

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I am sorry for what you and Mary are going through. This is what I learned in dealing with a spouses relatives-- the grand gestures and vows are all about them-- to make them feel better. It has nothing to do with Mary or you, it's about them. You're being very good about this, but don't let them infringe on your time with your wife. You need some alone time together.

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Hi Hawkeye,

I am praying for you and Mary. I know exactly what you are going through with the family members. I go through it so much with my mom's sisters. They don't go through the day-to-day stuff and then want to take over whenever convenient for them. They are not there day to day with the struggles and lets not forget the special loving things that are only between you and Mary. Think of those things when they start to get on your nerves. They will never share that only you will have those things. Thats what I do now -I think of special things that I only do for my Mom and no one else and I am sure you have many of them with Mary. I don't know why family members start to act this way - I guess its panic that they may lose someone and then they get possessive. Not sure what it all means Hawkeye!!

Sending my Best,

Marci

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Thank you all your prayers and support. I must let you know that Mary had a prety comfortable and painfree day. She was aware and abit talkative. I did manage to reduce the "crowd" in the room and have it to 3-4 at a time and was also able to get several in by themselves. Mary has always been a caregiver in her family so its a very different situation for her. Not that we're giving up by any means but i have asked everyone to let her know that they will be "OK". And that we will take care of eachother. I think its important for her know that. Anyway I'm tired but I doubt I'll sleep much.

Peace out

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Hi all,

Just a quick update here. Since last April several of Mary's coworkers would come over once a month for a "Porch party". We would sit in the backyark have a couple of drinks and converse. That was a wonderful time for mary. Well friday I was able to get ahold of these folks and we did the same thing in the hospital room ( without the alcohol) although the doc said if she wanted a drink why not!!!

Mary was awake and talkative and had a great time. She even got some baloons and a box of fudge from the main office in Cincinnati. She smiled and laughed and had a great time. I have hospice coming in also. I'm tired and am going to try to sleep (hasn't been easy though).

Peace out

Mary and hawkeye

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Thanks for keeping us udated. I love the porch meeting in the hospital. How wonderful that must have been for her.

I will continue to send prayers to her. Hospice will be a blessing for her and you.

Prayers sent to your Mary. I also pray for her to be pain free, that is so important that she is made comfortable.

We are always here for you. You can vent anytime. I hope you got some needed rest as you have to be strong around her.

Please take care of yourself too!

Maryanne

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Mary has been doing somewhat betterand if all goes well she will come home tomorrow (Monday). We have hospice coming in and one nice thing about the one we chose is that a niece of ours is going to be our HHA. That made Mary happy. The oldest boy (Robbie) and his wife are going to move in to help out. They have both been great in helping to care for her. We have a list of friends and phone #s to help run errands and sit with Mary from time to time so this is good since most of them are the "porch " crowd :) . The hard part is she is heavily medicated for the pain and is having scattered thoughts. We do seem to have her pain under control which is really good. Although I have a few things to vent I dont feel like doing that tonite.

Peace out

Mary and hawkeye

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I;m so sorry for Mary and all you and your family are going through. Looking at Mary's profile besides all she has gone though medically there certainly were some highlights she was able to witness. The marriage of your son and the birth of your grandaughter Michele..

I'm glad her pain is under control and she has people that she loves helping out. You are blessed there.

We are here for you and we care.

Prayers sent to your Mary.

Maryanne

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We got Mary home on Monday and set up with the hospice. They showed us how to administer her drugs and make her comfortable. She hardly eats or drinks at all and sleeps almost all the time. I fear that she doesn't have long to go. Her oldest son and his wife are staying here and have been simply fantastic. Mary would be so proud of them as I am. Its very hard especially since Mary really has no "quality of life" at this point. She will mumble now and then but can't really speak. It is so hard to watch her lay there and I feel so helpless. She is out of it almost all the time. I HATE THIS DISEASE!!!! CANCER SUCKS!!!!!

Peace out

Mary and hawkeye

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