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New to LCSC- Father recently diagnosed with NSCLC, Stage IV


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Like many people, I am really new to this whole cancer thing. My father was officially diagnosed last week and still unofficially as stage IV. The cancer is in his lungs, lymphnodes, ribs and lower back. He's in a lot of pain and I am really scared.

I hear nothing but bad about this stage. That people in stage IV don't survive the year. I want to help him and I don't know how.

So I'm here to meet people and cry with people and get some support. This sucks big time and I just don't know what to do.

Thanks and I look forward to meeting, learning and probably crying with everyone else on this site.

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I am so sorry that you had to find reason to be here, but you will find much support from everyone here. Your post was so familiar that I felt like I wrote it myself. My dad was just diagnosed this past October. He just finished with his radiation and chemo treatments and is doing well. He is going back to work tomorrow for the first time since Christmas. My dad is staged at IIIa and we are hoping that when he has his next set of scans in 3 months that he will be a surgical candidate. There are many here that are stage IV that can give you lots of hope and advice.

The best thing you can do is to not listen to the statistics and know that every person is different. Take a deep breath and just take one day at a time. Getting his treatment plan into place will also make you feel better. You will soon learn that you are stronger than you ever knew you could be. We are here to support you, cry with you, and yes, even laugh with you to. You, your father, and your family will join in my list of prayers. Your dad is very lucky to have you.



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Hi, welcome to the group!

You're right that the statistics are not good with stage IV lung cancer, but there will always be people on the winning side of the numbers and you'll be hearing from some of them soon.

Please let us know what treatment options are being offered. If the pain your dad is experiencing is due to cancer mets (metastases) in the bones -- rather common -- that can often be alleviated very effectively by radiation. The basic problem, cancer in the lung(s) which has spread elsewhere in the body through the bloodstream, would be treated systemically with chemo.

Scary, yes. Hopeless, no. Aloha,


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Welcome to the forum. Sorry you had to find youself here but you will find this is the best place to be.

As Ned said, please don't listen to statistics. If it was true that Stage IV don't make it through the year, then I wouldn't be writing this right now. I am 16 months into my diagnosis, going strong, and I still have some more options available to me if the current chemo stops working. I drive, I kept up with my garden all last summer, I just painted my bathroom, I do everything I did before my diagnosis, altho sometimes slower than before. There are a few people here who have been around for quite a few years with Stage 4 cancer.

Its always so scary in the beginning, but once you are armed with more information as to your dads treatment options, it will get better. In the meantime, ask any question you want, cry or vent to us when you need to. We understand and we are here for you.

I will keep you and your dad in my prayers.

Hugs - Patti B.

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Hello Amieb - I am glad you found this website. It's been a Godsend for me. Please keep us posted with what treatments the doctors decide to do. I know it seems an almost impossible thing to deal with right now - but the others are right - once you get your treatment plan in front of you things will settle down. My dad benefited from radiation to his back- his back doesn't give him any trouble currently.

Take care and I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Amy (Atlanta1)

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Hi - so sorry you have to be here - but it will be a very helpful, hopeful, caring place to be. I have Stage 4 NSCLC also - and I was diagnosed 14 months ago. I still teach preschool 5 days a week, cook, clean (unfortunately!) and do everything else I did before diagnosis - with a few naps thrown in. I had mets to the spine also - the radiation took care of that and I am now pain free. Once you have met with the doctors and settled on a treatment plan things will slow down and be easier to absorb. In the mean time you are in my prayers.

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He just finished with his radiation and chemo treatments and is doing well. He is going back to work tomorrow for the first time since Christmas. My dad is staged at IIIa and we are hoping that when he has his next set of scans in 3 months that he will be a surgical candidate. . .Teresa

Amieb; I cannot offer you too much as I am also new here. It is my 66 year old husband that is the patient. It looks like this is a good place to be for understanding and for questions.

I still not sure about jumping in someone's topic and asking questions. This quoted reply brings up a question to me. I thought when treatments stopped, that the scans were done to see the effect of the treatments.

It is my understanding that my husband will begin his Chemo and Radiation for 6 weeks and then test to see how it looks.

Why would you wait if there are other treatments. I know it is just my lack of knowledge that has me confused. Why are they waiting 3 months. Is there an effect from the treatments after they are done???

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I can't add much to what the others have said, but can tell you that a Stage IV diagnosis is not an immediate death sentence. I am one who has survived three years with a Stage IV diagnosis and they have been the happiest of my life.

Lean on the group here for answers to your concerns, get second and third opinions on everything, find a good level of pain control for him and enjoy each day.

Yes, there will be tears in abundance, but there will be people in abundance who will walk beside you and dad in prayer and support. Glad you are here.


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I am new too, and I know how you feel. My aunt recently read something somewhere online that has made me feel a little better:

A women with cancer who was told she had 3-6 months left went for a second opinion, and when she asked the Dr. how long she had, the Dr. replied "I did not see any expiration dates anywhere on your body."

Try to stay positive, even though it is hard to, and never under estimate the power of prayer.

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