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You better not ask grandma...


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Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if

they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town

prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to

the stand. He approached her and asked, ' Mrs. Jones , do you know me?' She

responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams . I've known you since you

were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you

cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their

backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll

never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across

the room and asked, ' Mrs. Jones , do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a

youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't

build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the

worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three

different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'


defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to

approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots

asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

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