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twisterchica

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Hi everyone, my name is Mary and I'm 23 years old. My mother was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer that metastasized to her brain in May 2006. At the time, they gave her 2-3 months to live. She responded fairly well to the treatment at first, but by January of this year, it was just too much for her. We all had to say goodbye on February 7. I joined today because it's been one month and quite honestly, I didn't think I'd take it as hard as I have today. My family is spread out all around the country, and I don't really have anyone to talk to that understands. My friends are great, but I can tell they don't know what to do or say to make me feel better, although they'd love to help. So I guess that's why I'm here.

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I can not tell you about losing a parent but we have many who can. I lost a spouse very close but not the same I know. If there is anything we can do or help with just ask. We have seen a lot here and this is one of the best places for support and advice and compassion and understanding. Welcome to the place no one really wants to be at though and nice to "Meet" You Mary...

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Hi Mary,

My name is also Mary:) Welcome. I'm very sorry for what you've been through, and can only imagine how sad you must feel. You're very young to be in this situation. Though those friends may not know quite what to do or say, I'm sure they care deeply for you and want to help. Stick with them and let them help you through this if only by just being there. Stick with us too - we all care and want to help. Please stay in touch and ask/tell/vent about anything you like.

Mary

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(((Mary))),

I am so very sorry for your loss. I haven't lost a parent, but I did lose my husband to lung cancer. Many here can understand the pain you feel . Let yourself grieve and be patient with yourself. There are many here who understand and who care. If you have specific questions you would like to ask, there is usually someone who can relate. Glad you joined us, but sorry you needed to .

God Bless you.

sue

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Hello Mary and welcome

I am so sorry about your Mom. Please accept my condolences.

Many of us here have lost loved ones and we can understand and relate to the pain and difficulties associated with the grieving process.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are and how we can help.

Warmly

Christine

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Welcome Mary,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my dad in May. I was 27 and my sis is 22, so I know what it feels like to lose a parent at such a young age. There are so many things left undone and so many hallmarks you will experience in life that they won't be able to be apart of (in the physical sense). It is a lot to deal with and nine months later, I am still having a difficult time understanding why this happened to us. He was such a great father and had so much more to live for. It just seems so unfair. My only advice at this point would be to take things one day at a time. Grief is a process. You will have your okay days and your days when you can barely get out of bed. I still have those days, but things are getting a little better now. I pray that God gives you strength during this time as well.

Sincerely,

Rochelle

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Hi Mary,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I'm glad you found the site and hope that you find it helpful. You're just in-between the age of my step-son and step-daughter -- much too young to lose a parent. There are people here who will understand, and it's a safe place to get anything off your chest.

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Many here understand...I know I do.

You are far too young to have lost a parent...it's very unfair and just can't feel right.

When you want to get stuff out to a group who will get it...we're here.

PS, my friends too have been great support, but I agree, they clearly don't "get it"

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Welcome Mary, I too am sorry that you found us (you know what I mean :) ). I lost my Dad in December of 2006 (not cancer) and then my Mom in November 2007 to SCLC. It is an awful experience and I miss them every single day. But this board is the best...I don't know what I'd do without it.

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Thank you all. I really appreciate all of your kind words and prayers. I didn't get the chance until today to look all around the site and read the stories of people affected by this horrible disease.

But I feel like I can't contribute to much on here right now. After she was diagnosed, I told her I didn't want to know all of the details about her treatment because I felt so helpless that I couldn't help her. This makes me feel guilty everyday, because I'm sure she wanted to talk to me about it, but I just wasn't strong enough to handle it all. I honestly can't tell people about what medicine she took or the various ailments she was suffering from...just the generalities about the things she had to be admitted to the hospital for. I also can't give any "words of wisdom" because I haven't gained any wisdom yet. I know it'll get better with time, but there just hasn't been enough time yet I guess.

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Welcome Mary,

I'm so sorry for your loss. We "get it" here. It's not fair and it hurts. Take it a moment at a time if you have to. I hope you are surrounded by those who love and care about you. We are here for you too.

((hugs))

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Mary,

I'm so sorry about your beloved mom. And yes, I know what you mean about well-meaning friends, it's so hard to convey how you really feel and to even know how or if they can help...

I know how devastating this is, and what a physical pain the grief is...it takes your breath away at times. As far as feeling guilty - be kind to yourself, your mom knew how much you loved her and I'm sure she understood how you felt...believe me, as a mother, your instinct is to protect your children, so she was probably letting you cope in a way you needed too, and loving you all the while.

I think it's part of the grieving process to feel some guilt (I know I did), and with time it eases.

Sending you a prayer and a hug tonight...

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