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my mom has been in the hospital for one week and 3 days and has gotten worse every day. first her right arm was completely numb, and now she has no feeling from her chest down. the tumor is pressing on her spinal cord and the damage is permanent. her onc told her that if she goes home she will be on hospice care. my dad thinks and wants to take care of her. her mind is really going. i dont know if it is all the meds or brain mets. before she went to the hospital we promised her that she would come home. i am so scared. i dont want her to suffer any more. i know that she would not want to be like this. this was her worst fear. i miss her so much already and she is not even gone.

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my dad passed away in the hospital. We too had promised him he would be coming home. :cry: I will always hate the fact that he never got to come home, but we made the choice to keep him there after he became incoherent and because of the 24 hour care. He had lapsed into a coma-like state due to the extreme pain and the meds he had to have to make it tolerable. They gave him a few hours to a few days....we just didn't know when it would happen or if we would be enough to care for him. With the medical team caring for him, we could spent every single last second just loving and holding and being with him. Also, in the back of my mind I always held hope that there was something that could be done to turn the situation around and dad would get better.

It didn't happen for him that way. But it HAS happened for some, it can happen!

I am sending you a huge hug. I know exactly how you feel. pm or email me if you want to talk. This is so so hard, and I am sending prayers for you and your family. Keep us posted as you and your mom will be in my prayers and thoughts daily.

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i too can only offer a hug and unwavering support for your turmoil. We went through the EXACT thing with mom. She spoke in wierd sentences and didn't finish thoughts and was very hard to hear or understand. It was the worst days and weeks and now months of my life.

All I can say is spend every second you can with her. It will help you. IF the worst happens, it will take a long time to start to heal but someday, (Hopefully its real) we will see them again.

never give up hope, its all we have.

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I feel for you and your family. Deciding whether to take your Mom home or or not is very tough; don't be too hard on yourself if you can't take her home at this point. Like Katie said, the circumstances change and it might just be better for her and everyone to let the hospital staff provide the day-to-day care so you can just be with her, loving her. I know you will do what is best for this woman whom you love so much. Sorry it is so painful now.

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