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Letting Go....


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Happy Easter, all. My little ones have gone off to church with their dad, while I stay home with the littlest wildest one - no point in taking him and standing in the vestibule the whole time!

Although I don't go to church nearly as much as I should (try almost never), I thought I would share this excerpt from a recent sermon our minister gave. He lost his niece in a tragic murder-suicide. He was ready to preside over her wedding when his niece's fiancee took both of their lives.

He cited the Harry Potter books and referred to the magical mirror that Harry discovers, where he can see his deceased parents...Harry quickly becomes addicted to this mirror and all it represents.

Here is the sermon excerpt:

"Part of what keeps us from living in the present is that we’re stuck in a far away place, in a time long ago. We’re stuck looking in a magical mirror. It’s good to glimpse into that mirror, good to look at those pictures, good to tell those stories. But if you’re wasting away in front of the mirror, it’s time to ask God to help you walk away, and to bring you back to life.

You can have breath, and not be living. Your body alive, but your spirit dead.

But if spirits die, they can also come back to life.

And part of coming back to life is letting go of the past, letting go of dreams that cannot be, and remembering to live.

Say goodbye to golden yesterdays, or your heart will never learn to love the present.

God gives breath to those who walk upon the earth,

and spirit to those who live in it..."

I guess it gave me food for thought. I found myself so wrapped up in the past last night, missing my mom, furious at my dad, that after promising my kids all day we would dye eggs I told them we weren't doing it and stomped upstairs...my husband eventually did it with them. While I was upstairs in tears, I thought of this sermon.

I don't think he was saying that he expects all of us to just let go, but he's impressing on us that we need to live, and often I'll forget to do that, or I will do it with less joy and with much regret...I feel I am often looking over my shoulder into the past, wishing it back...and maybe as a result I'm not fully taking in the importance and joy of these moments in the present, which I will never get back...

Have a blessed Easter, everyone...

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I feel the same way. Although my mom only passed away about two weeks ago, I feel like I've been grieving for her for a long time now. Some days I don't know what scares me more... Never finding myself again.. (I liked who I was before my mom got sick.. I don't know if I will ever find that person again), or getting on with my life and accepting that she's really gone.

I just can't stand the fact that she's gone. There were so many plans, and if I give up those plans, then I don't know who I am or how to live my life.

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