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It is written by the experts…


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OK so I have Lung Cancer. Am I supposed to stop living, go into funeral mode and wait-- wait for what :?: According to the experts I’m not supposed to be here this long so I should get my affairs in order and do this and do that. Well everyone should have their affairs in order just in case something happens (after all one could be killed in an automobile accident or I know maybe hit by a bus) and do this and do that. Should everyone tip toe around me and have a long face on them, after all I have Lung Cancer and it is written, you know by the experts not going to be here very long. Had one of my family members tell my daughter she should get married and have kids before I die. Gee I’m not ready for my daughter to get married, have kids or die. People always ask me aren’t you waiting for the other shoe to drop, no isn’t the other shoe going to drop for all of us one day weather we wait for it or not? Sure life is doctor’s appointments, procedures, tests and treatments but hey that’s what is keeping me alive so I can live life to the fullest, do whatever and act normal or whatever normal is. Funny how people perceive how we should live and what we should do. OH well I’m glad I’m not an expert, I would be dead by now. :lol:

BTW my daughter said she is not ready to marry/have kinds and I still have both of my shoes on…


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I hear ya, Rich!!!!!!!!

Don't ya just love it when people who have no idea of what we are going through decide what is best for you??

I have a bit of "dark humor" about me when it comes to having cancer. Thats MY way of getting through it every day. When I was first dx'd and told I had a met to my one rib, whenever my girlfriend and I would talk on the phone and gossip, if I said something funny or not so nice about someone, I would say "Zttt, there goes another rib!!!" She gets it and we would laugh like hell. Tried that one on my SIL and she was screaming and crying that I was taking my cancer too lightly!!! Right!! I asked her - so should I just go to my bed and cry until I die?? This is how I handle it. It gets me through each day.

My favorite from the "experts" is the one where I should feel blessed to know how long I have - WOW!!

I guess maybe us not being experts is whats getting us through all this!!!

Hugs - Patti B.

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Thanks for this post. I am catching on to the new normal. I am slowly easing into a mindset of since we really never know what's going to happen with Hank or when, we have to proceed with our every day lives.

But some things are confusing me. Before this diagnosis we had the ability to make "Long range" plans, or so we thought. Now, I'm not quite sure what we should be doing in terms of planning for the future. For example, Hank suggested that we upgrade the bathrooms in our house. It's a good idea, they need upgrading, but then I thought to myself, if he's not going to be around much longer, I'm certainly not going to stay here by myself. I have no friends or relatives here in NJ anymore, and in fact, Hank and I were thinking of relocating elsewhere, and than he was diagnosed. It's hard to know what to plan or what to do. This is certainly not what we had planned on dealing with in retirement. Goes to show you, you just never know whats going to happen. I am trying to be positive and believe that he will respond well to treatment, and be here for a long time to come, and then I think the odds are against it. Just don't know what to do. Oh well, guess I'm kind of babbling here, but anyway Rich, I do love your attitude and I hope that you and all of us will be able to keep on keeping on until the next big thing comes down the pike.

All the best,


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Rich, I have been doing a lot of reading here. I want to tell you that I feel your post is important. I also just read one where the poster said that by posting good news was fearful that might make others feel bad but that is not so. Just like others shared here, some of us need to read about the cases that have gone beyond what doctor have to say.

My husband came home from radiation yesterday feeling pretty good emotionally and it was due to things the Dr there was telling him about how the treatment was going and possible options.

Today he had a followup with the Oncology Dr and he came home with what he referred to as really bad news. My husband was fairly healthy going into this and I thought things were sounding pretty good, considering what he has. My husband took it in a very negative way and like his chances are not good. I just do not yet have enough information to really convince him that there are many variables to all of this. It was a downer of a day. His emotional state was not good. He was also sick today.

I know I didn't get this worded quite right but close. I am reading here and am generally one to have hope.

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Hey bud, this is from another one who shouldn't be alive :shock:

I'm a firm believer in fate, when we're born an expiration date is recorded somewwere and regardless of disease, accident or whatever that's the date you die. So like you I have my affairs in order but not because of my cancer, I got those in order after my daughter was born and I became responsible for another life. Cancer is a "by the way" at this point in my life, I've survived lung cancer and am now battling breast cancer but the experts can't tell me when the shoe will drop.......they didn't know before I got all this and they sure don't know now - by all the odds I should have been past my sell by date about 6 years ago!!!!!!!!! :lol:

So let's keep on living for now and bugger the future - that wil be what it will be for whatever length of time we have, let's face it even the "healthy" people we know don't know how long they've got :wink::lol::)

Keep the kick-*ss attitude my friend!


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You know you want that grand baby. :lol: It's good to see you having some better days and posting more often. Humor and a positive attitude will take you far.

PBGY- Redo the house. That was the thing that kept us going through John's illness, one project after another.

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Well, according to the docs here, my expiration date ws spring 2005. There were eyes wide open when they saw me (and that was LAST year!) ~ would love to see them now! And I don't wait for the other shoe to fall....I've decided to just run barefoot and it sure has worked for me so far! Glad to see you BACK, Rich..........glad to see you too, Geri! You guys are truly my HEROES!


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I loved your post. And it is so true, you never know what life is supposed to bring. My mom lost her dad when she was 12. He literally got run over by that beer truck, he was crossing the street on hi sway home from work and was run over and died. He didn't have cancer and was dead in a split second.

Rich you are an inspiration!

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rich, you are lke an angel to me!!! Always the right words. A is true what you said. I had an terrible time in baires( not always) but when people was looking at me and they could not even said the word cancer I wanted to tell them idiot, if I look so good is because is not in my plans to die now.

Thanks a big hug & a kiss

bucky :wink:

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Okay, now you got me going. When I was first dx.d with LC, I asked my Onc Doc, " How long will I have to see you?" His reply was: "The rest of your life!" So, Okay, I'm thinking well, that shouldn't be toooooo long from when I was dx.d. Well, long story short, after about 6 years I said to my Onc Doc again, "So how long will I really have to still see you?" He said, "Well, to be honest I didn't think you would be seeing me still today, so maybe we can take a look at where your at and change the plan here." What he was REALLY SAYING WAS: He didn't expect me to LIVE this long (let alone 13 years) :roll:8):wink: I'm SURE he's STILL scartching his head over me to this day! Oh, I don't see him anymore, nor have I for over 6 years now.

I'm with you Rich, I still have BOTH MY SHOES ON and people can look at me like DEAD WOMAN WALKING all they want! I really don't give a hoot! I've learned to enjoy my life and to hell with what everyone else wants to say or think about it. If they are in shock over me still living, then by golly I'll trade them SHOES!! :wink:

And as for your daughter, why should a 10 year old have to think about getting married and having kids? LOL LOL LOL, (couldn't pass that one up!) :P:lol::wink:

I gotta tell you, having lung cancer people looked at me with complete SHOCK when I tell them I am a 13 year survivor. You should see the LOOKS I GET TODAY after I tell them I'm a Lung Cancer Survivor AND a HEART Disease survivor and that I have had 4 open heart surgeries!! TOO TOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!

Yep, I AM part KITTY!!!! Here kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty. That leave me 3 more lives left to go. :wink:

The only time I think of shoes is when I am buying a NEW PAIR! :wink: Life it GOOD!

Smile, Fresh air is Good for your teeth! :D

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You always inspire me. I feel like everyone looks at me like I am Dead Man Walking and I hate that. When I was in the hospital recently and realized that I came soo close to dying I asked my aunt why didn't I die. She told me that my grandmother used to say that our lives are like a lit candle that burns bright but when our time has arrived the candle will go out and only God will decide when that time is.


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I feel those words deep in my heart tonight. See, my mom's cancer returned and I have struggled with it all. My mom jumped right into fight mode. She told me "Don't you dare count me out!" I am supportive and will be with her everystep of the way. But....privately I have struggles. Your words opened my eyes! We don't know what tommorow will bring for any of us, so live each day fully.

I printed those words and hung them up so each day when I wake up I can read them, what a great way to start the day.

Thank you, you are an inspiration!


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