Jump to content

That Darn First Year!


Recommended Posts

Hello My Friends,

I haven't posted in a really long time but I have been here. :?

Sunday was my birthday and I was so hard without my mom. Mom always made my birthday so special for me. We recently bought a second home and we moved in this last weekend. My Husband is trying so hard to get me out of the dumps and thought that being away might help. Sat. night mom came to me in a dream. She told me she was alive (I believe her spirit lives on) and doing okay and not to worry anymore. It gave me alot of comfort and she keeps giving me small gifts like these. My teenage boys said Happy Birthday and my daughter showered me with affection and kind words. My dad who is still dating the vulture gave me a gift before I left for the new house. When I called him to tell him I was home he forgot it was my birthday and didn't wish me a happy birthday. I called my best friend who lives out of state and she forgot it was my birthday. I feel so abandoned from so many important people in my life. My two aunts (my dads sisters) keep inviting the vulture to family things so then I stay away. I told my dad that I would really be unhappy if she came to our Christmas party and I had to stay away from that too. On Christmas Eve mom always made soup and breadsticks. This year I will do that at my house. I have invited my dad to stay with us that night. My brother and his family will come to my home where we have usually gone to moms on Christmas Day to open gifts. I am going to offer to help my dad with the Christmas Shopping and Decorating this year. The vulture has asked my dad to make a rocking horse for her grandchild. Dad has usually made me something for Christmas. We also have a new child in my brothers’ family who needs a rocking horse.

We just discovered that the reason my daughter has been acting out so much these past months is that she is bi polar. We need to get her regulated on some medicine and get past the Holidays. I am praying for a much better 2004 and wish the same for all of you.

Hugs, Shelly

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Shelly,

It is so good to see you again. I think about you often and wonder how you are doing. Happy Belated Birthday!

I'm sorry to here your poor daughter is going through so much, they can do so much for by polar now, a couple years ago I dont think they even knew what it was, they have come a long way with it.

I'm sorry that the "vulture" is still in your dad's life. I cant even imagine how that must feel. I know it hurts you terribly. Stick with us while we go through all of the first together.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for responding and letting me know you care MO_Sugar and Cathy.

It hurts seeing that I have been forgotten by many of those who I thought were my friends. This is a very hard time for many of us. My mom was gone in less then a month after her dx. I never thought that she would leave like that with basically no warning. Her being gone is the first thing I think of each day when I wake up. Oh how I wish I could change things.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Shelly

I could feel the pain in your posts. My mother died 4 years ago this coming July. I was living in Australia, had just had the nodule discovered on my lung. I had to go back to Canada to get the lung nodule investigated and I also had to get back to see my mom before she passed away. I couldn't get a flight out and arrived back in Canada two days after she died. The morning that my Mother died I was lying in bed, awake, with my eyes closed. All of a sudden I had the strongest feeling that my mother was near. All of a sudden the end of the bed started shaking, as if someone was standing there pushing down on the mattress with both hands. I looked up and there was nothing there.. but the mattress was moving up and down gently. About two hours later my sister phoned me and told me that Mom had passed away. She had passed away at the same time the bed was moving. You said you had dreams of your mother visiting you. Shelly, your mother IS visiting you. I believe that when one dies they just go to another plane of existence. My mother had always said to me if there was a way to prove life after death she would, and she certainly did. Be comforted Shelly, in the fact that your Mom is out of her pain and in a better place and her soul is indeed living on. Take care Shelly....

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Please take comfort in knowning you are not alone with this, especially here. Happy Belated Birthday!!! Sometimes I think that others don't know what to say or do this first year. I know how you feel.

Take care and I Hope things get better for your daughter. We will survive by the strenght of love our Moms left us.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you much for you kind words Marisa, Dona and Fay A. It feels so good to have others understand how you feel.

I think sometimes we go along this grieving process we are doing okay and then wham we are a mess. It helps to know others who are going through similar things and what they are doing to cope. I think it's important to share things with one another. These things here are the things that will help us to heal together.

I am thankful for this board and the courage and strength the members has brought to my journey. May God Bless Us All as we continue through the Holiday Season and throughout the years ahead.

((((((((((Hugs))))))))))) Shelly

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today, as I prepare for Thanksgiving tomorrow I am thinking about how blessed I am.

I am blessed to have a mother who taught me to have Joy in life and in living. I feel her presence so strongly as I type this. I am blessed to have a Family that loves me in spite of my faults. I am blessed to have friends that build me up when I feel I can't go on. I am Blessed to have a Father in Heaven who Loves me and More importantly He Loves my MOM. I know that she is at peace with who she is and that she doesn't want me to waste my potential on the what if's.

I miss her terribly and I know I always will. Mom Loves the Holidays. I am making Sweet Potatoes and I would always call her to get the recipe even though I had it. We are going to hubby's family as scheduled, last year was with Mom. Next year I will continue it for her with my family and it will be a way to honor her. Last night I bought mom a Christmas gift she would love it. It is a collector’s plate for her curio cabinet. I will wrap it and put it under my tree and then place it in her cabinet. My mom loves the battery operated Santa’s. I saw a big one in Home Depot and I just stood in front of it and thought of mom. She would turn them on and shake her hips just like the Santa's we all would laugh. I am going to try to see many things through my moms’ eyes as I go through the Holiday Season she would like that.

Happy Thanksgiving My Friends!

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) Shelly

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.