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What about these "terms"


blueeye

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Think about the many ways we have to describe that someone has died? We say they passed, they're deceased and at work we say a patient has expired. I don't think that I like that one anymore...my Mom wasn't milk. How do you say it? With me, I think that it depends on who I am talking to. Mostly it is "she passed away November 28th, 2007."

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I always say I "lost" my mom (14 months ago, last year, etc...) Sometimes I'll say passed away, but I really feel like I've lost her.

NOT that she can ever be found...and I feel more like I was ROBBED of her rather than I LOST her, but I still say that...maybe because I feel "lost" without her?

Who knows. There's not a good way to describe something so bad, I guess.

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I probably typically say "lost" or "passed," or "since Bill has been gone." I found myself saying "since he left us" for a while, then realized that implied that he did so intentionally, and I didn't like that. Sometimes I consciously say "died," simply to convey the reality (to myself more than anyone else).

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Hi Leslie--

I think about that a lot too. Like you, I most often say my dad "passed away" 22 weeks ago. For some reason, I feel the need to count the time in weeks rather than months. Like Teri, when I want to feel the reality of what has happened, I will say that he "died" 22 weeks ago.

Having been with my dad when he died, it really did feel like he was "passing" out of this life...and so somehow that feels most comfortable for me.

Best,

Leslie

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I say my Mom got her angel wings. Sometimes, she got her pink, sparklie angel wings!!!

When I wrote her obituary, saying she "died" on such and such date didn't fit her, it never has. Right then and there I ditched that idea and went for what made me smile. Sometimes I get odd looks because it's not something you hear everyday, but my Mom wasn't a woman you'd meet every day.

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It is difficult for me to say that my dad "died" also. I usually say "I lost my Dad" or "passed away." Ten months later...Sometimes I am able to say it. Sometimes I find myself holding back tears. I almost burst into tears yesterday when I told one of my middle school students that "my dad passed away last year." I had to go in my office and get myself together. I am wondering if it will ever be easy to say any of those words. :cry:

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I don't know if I am too much of a linguist, or if I need my reality defined clearly, but I always say, "died". (Mom died ten months ago...Mom died of LC...etc.) To me it seems more simple, more direct, and more real. If it helps, I say it in my soft voice (one I don't use as often), because I know that to some people it is a harsh word.

Kelly

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Im like Sharyn and usually say that I "lost" my Mom to lung Cancer. Even after 15 months I cant really say that she died. i guess it seems too final. I dont really like that term though cuz it seems like she is a missing sock or something that I cant find. Sometimes i will say that my Mom was "stolen by lung cancer but that seems odd too. I guess there is not really a good term to use.

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