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Discouraged


Fay A.

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I thought that yesterday was my last Chemo, but found out that they are having me go for 6 cycles of Carbo/Taxotere instead of 4. I know that in the grand scheme of things this is small patatoes...but I'm discouraged by the news. Chemo has been tough on me.

I am undergoing more tests next week to determine if I have a stomach ulcer, mets from the cancer, a new gastric cancer. The tests done recently are inconclusive. I should have answers by next week.

A few days ago my eyelashes and eyebrows began to fall out...They're so thin they look like dark ghosts...I bet by Thanksgiving they are gone completely. No hair on the head is kind of funny. No eyebrows and lashes look strange. Guess it's time for me to practice more face painting. :wink:

My last chemo is scheduled for the day before New Years Eve...No bubbly for me this New Years Eve, but I can still drink club soda or fruit juice. I have it all worked out to make my head look like a Martini Olive with Pimento and toothpick. :)

I am discourage about more chemo...more sick days...I am encouragaged by the idea of living longer, so I'll do what I must to get there...just wanted to be able to enjoy Christmas and New Years without chemo side effects. Okay....Pity Party is over.

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Fay,

Being on chemo period can really bring you down. I hate that you have to have chemo during the holidays, or anytime for that matter. Out of all the treatment I recieved, chemo was by far the worst for me. It made me so tired and achy. It really messed up my stomach too. I am praying that your stomach problems are just an ulcer, or perhaps even as a result of the chemo.

Cheryl

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Oh Fay,

I'm sorry about the discouraging news...even in the midst of your self-proclaimed pity-party, you are rational and positive! :wink: In the grand scheme it isn't too terrible to have two more, but I get what you're saying...the chemo is making you feel UGH :evil:bad.

Just a little while longer.

I have incredible hope that the new year will bring much more peace and happiness for us all. I also believe that the new year will bring you renewed health! Won't be long now, hang in there sweet friend. Let me know if I can help in any way at all.

Love,

K

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Faye,

I am sorry you have to continue with chemo. Keep a good thought about what you will do NEXT NewYears Eve! I too lost my eyelashes and eyebrows but they came right back as soon as I was done with chemo. I got pretty good with eyeliner and a brow pen though, lol. Best wishes to you and God Bless.

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Everyone needs a good pity party. My chemo for the breast was over Thanksgiving and Christmas. I look at those christmas pictures and see me in my hat. Oh well, I'm still here. And it got me out of doing any cooking that year.

Christmas Eve I spent on the couch with the pregnant cousin. We were laughing about our tiredness.

New Year's Eve was out to dinner, and then I was home in bed. Way before midnight.

But I was happy to see the new year in.

Thanks for sharing

gail

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Darrell just started loosing his eyebrows last week, even though his chemo ended early oct..He really didn't mind losing his hair being a man and all not quite so bad, but he didn't want to lose his eyebrows at all. He tugged on the rest to see if loose, but not once did he touch his eyebrows.. and now they are going.. also the only hair growing on top of his head is coming in like peach fuzz, and as white as can be... He had dark brown hair, with hardly any grey at all... the hair on his chin is the same, but he has a couple of dark patches on his cheeks. but not many... He doesn't care he just wants to live and I hope the added chemo helps you achive this goal!!!! I have such fine hair and not very nice hair, I told him I'd shave mine to look like him, but he said no..lol he has very little hair on his body left... its amazing how it just keeps falling out even though chemo was quite awhile ago... I wish you the best of luck and like someone else said hopefully the new year will a new beginning for you!!!

Darrells chemo was really hard on him and really brought him down... way down.. Hes starting to feel so much better, but I'm afraid the new year will also bring more treatment.. His cough is getting worse and the area where he had radiation seems worse to him... hope its not the chemo, its scarey to get a break, sometimes I wish they could just keep zapping him until nothing left, but guess the body needs a break...Good luck and I will be wishing and praying the best for you!! Take Care

Christy

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Fay -

As usual, you manage to keep getting thru this with your humor intact.

As brutal as it may seem, take comfort in the fact that you're HERE for another Christmas, even if you are having chemo.

And on New Years you can always say - "no thanks, I already had a cocktail - a chemo cocktail that is"!

Hugs and prayers,

SandyS

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Guest cecilia

Hi Fay,

Has anyone told you that you have a cute head? Your posting shows the back of your head and I think you are cute!!! My mother is also scheduled for six chemos. She has only had two so far. The first one was not bad and she was ok, but the second one made her sick and she thought she was never going to feel better, but she is feeling better. Thank God!!. You said chemo has been hard on you and I was just wondering if it becomes more difficult with each one or if some are not so bad? My mother's next one is December 2nd and she is dreading it. We are trying to stay focused, realizing that chemo is a necessity if she wants to fight this disease and therefore it is an opportunity. I wish the best for you, and just think, you're almost done with the chemo. Take care. Cecilia

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Dear Fay,

Sorry you have to receive more chemo treatments than expected, I know it would be so nice to get a break especially during the holidays. But I like to think of it has more opportunities to kill the awful cancer cells. Do something special for yourself. I keep you in my prayers that you will get relief in the coming months.

I do hope you post the picture of the pimento photo. :wink:

Blessings to you,

Andrea

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Fay,

I REFUSE to say "it could be worse" - it's like inviting trouble! After all, it could be a HELLUVA lot better!

I can understand what you are saying about the two more treatments, my guess is you set a goal to make it to the end of the fourth treatment - and now the bar has been raised! Not fair, not fair at all...but, if life were fair, would any of us be on this board?? (But ya know, the fact that this board is here really DOES help in the "I'm not alone" kinda way.)

Hang in there, Fay. Adjust your sights, suck down the "sparkling" fruit juice, count your blessings and give yourself some down time - not down in the dumps time, just time to reset your goals and realize once again that you are as weak as - galvanized steel ! Attitude is everything!

I know your pity party was short lived. My ice cream didn't even melt! :wink:

Hang in there, we're all in your corner!

Becky

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Oh Fay,

I am sorry you're ill. I know it's hard to go through the holidays being sick. Last year I thought it would be our last Thanksgiving and Chirstmas as a family, but the doctors were wrong and here we are all again. Just focus on how great next year will be.

Hang in there Fay, you can do this.

When you're better we'll go virtual antiquing together.

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Hi Fay,

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Fay)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

now that's out of the way, take a deep breath. Let it out slooooowly.

Now put one foot in front of the other, and set your sights on the end of the 6th chemo. Becky is right, galvanized steel!! you are. Won't rust in the bubble bath.

Think of something special to do for yourself BESIDES painting yourself as an olive with pimento. Something super nice. Like a new soft sweater. A new robe. Something Warm and ~~~fuzzy.!!

Hang in there, pretty lady. You're among friends, and we'll help you get through this one way or another.

MaryAnn

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Hi Fay,

Hang in there. You’re my role model and inspiration in battling this beast. I know you can do it. Peace and God Bless.

Rich

Quote: Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.

Henry Ford (1863-1947)

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Dear Fay,

You are a guiding spirit and a mountain of courage for us here.

I know my husband is not a 'happy camper' on chemo. But there is a part of me that believes that some good is coming from each treatment.

You've got to believe these last two treatments will kill every last one of those rotten little cells.

And while a new hairdo can't perk you up right now, how about a manicure and a pedicure.

Hang tight Fay.

Ginny

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Fay,

Hang in there! Hoping the last two chemos won't be as hard on you. I'll be praying that they will take it easy on you. You are a strong person and have made it through all the other treatments. You are a survivor and an inspiration to the rest of us... Think positive about your tests, they will come back clean. Wish I lived closer so I could give you a gentle hug, so since I don't I'm sending you a gentle cyber ((((hug))))...

God Bless

Karen

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To my cheerleader:

I am sorry to hear your frustrating news, but as you and everyone else have pointed out, you are going to do just fine. Too bad about the timing--it is of course no fun to be sick at the holidays. But I feel sure that this is going to work for you so we can keep cheering each other on for many more years!

Becky

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Guest Jim Waddell

Fay,

I can only imagine what chemo is like - unexpected additional sessions must be discouraging. Ada would always tell me the the chemo was "her medicine" and said she would take as much as they would give her. But she did look forward to the end of a session. It sounds like you are doing great and everyone needs an emotional lift now and then and you sure get that here on the board. Hang in there, the addional treatments will get you off to a postive 2004.

Jim

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