Jump to content

Wish I wasn't here...


Recommended Posts

You are all so brave...it's amazing...I'm falling apart

I have a long story...going back to 1983.My 53 year old father was diagnosed with SCLC with mets to the liver.After a few months of prayers and chemo... he had a complete response and PCI.As a nurse I knew it was a matter of time before the cancer returned.Well,I waited and waited...

Then in 1997 my Mom was diagnosed with SCLC with adrenal mets.She fought hard but passed away.She required a lot of care toward the later stages which my sister ,2 brothers and I gladly gave. She was my best friend and I miss her dearly.

I filled my time with my three kids and my Dad stays one or 2 nights a week.

Now 20 years after his original dignosis,he has been dignosed with SCLC with mets to kidney.I feel badly for him as he is 74 and lives alone...I don't know what can be donefor him in terms of treatment.We still have a week before seeing the onc...so I just listen to him cough and I cry.He says he will be fine.He was told Apr 1st...the day before his birthday....

Link to comment
Share on other sites


I am also very new to these boards having just been diagnosed with SCLC with mets to Liver on 2/14 but my heart goes out to you. Losing your mother is one of the worst things you can go through, I lost my mom over 20 years ago and still miss her every day and now with your Dad's diagnosis no wonder you are falling apart. Try to keep positive thoughts and take it one day at a time, your Dad had an amazing long period of remission, I have never heard of a SCLC case living for that many years, he is truly amazing and perhaps will amaze you again, he sounds like a really strong man.

Prayers going out to you and your dad. I have only been posting for a day or two but have found so many wonderful people on these boards and they really have helped me already

God be with you and your dad

Bess B

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Lynn,

I just wanted to let you know that you are NOT alone!!

We were stationed in England in the Airforce in 1997 and got a call from my sister-in-law that my mother-in-law was not doing too good (she battled kidney, colon, and stomach cancer for 3 years) and we needed to get home, this was in December right before Christmas. We did not plan on going home for Christmas that year, but under the circumstances we had to. She was very sick looking and depressed the whole time we were there.

We spent Christmas with her and while we were home my Grandfather dies suddenly from a Pulmonary embolism.

2 months later we got another call telling us to get home as fast as we could that she was in the hospital on a respirator. We got home and she was not even coherient, we had to make the decision to continue the morphine and that it would cause her to stop breathing. We had to let her go.

10 months later my Mother called me and told me she had lung cancer. We were still in England and my husband was deployed to Saudi because of the peace keeping there at the time. I lost it. I had been there when my husbands mother died and now 10 months later I am facing my mother having cancer. The hardest part was not being able to be there with her.

She had bought me and my kids plane tickets before she found out she had the cancer so we could come home for a while since my husband was deployed. I BEGGED her to change the tickets so I could come home to be with her and she told me she did not want my kids to see her going through chemo. She said for me just to come as planned becasue she would be over the chemo when we got there and we could spend quality time together. I joked and told her I would take her to the mall and push her in a wheelchair if I had to. She was a shopaholic.

Well, the day before we were suppose to get on the plane to go home my sister called and told me she was in the hospital on a respirator and it did not look good. In England by myself with my kids (they were 7yrs and 4 yrs at the time) I was a basket case!!! I wanted to be there with her soooo bad it hurt. I had a friend pick us up at the airport and take me straight to the hospital and asked her to keep my kids for a few days.

She was in the ICU and not coherient because she had been sedated. I stayed there for about an hour and then went home with my family to get some rest so I could go back the next day to be with her. It was about 10pm when we left the hospital. We got home and 30 minutes later we got a call from the Dr saying her BP was dropping fast. She died before we got to the hospital.

I will always have to live with the fact that I NEVER got to say goodbye to her. She was my bestfriend and my rock and she was gone 3 weeks after being diagnosed.

I know how hard it must be for you to have gone through what you have and now seeing your dad like this. Just thank god you can be there for him, even though he is not doing well at least you will know you were there for him through all of his pain.

My prayers are with you and your family and I am so sorry you have to go through this. Be strong and tell him how much you love him EVERYDAY!!!

HUG, Pam

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am also new to these boards, finding them was a really good thing for me. Just "talking" (typing?) with other people who are going through much the same thing as I am is a comfort. I wonder if you realize how much hope your story has given me. Your father was in remission for such a long time that I know its not impossible for my husband. I know that it hurts just as much whether its been in remission for 20 days or 20 years and I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I had read someplace that if SCLC was in remission for longer than 6 months that the odds of getting it into remission again were very good. I wish the best for your Dad.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.