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Okay - where IS Jay?


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Hey there, sorry for not posting, I'm going through a really bad depression at the moment. I might have to be back on anti-depressants, I start going back to therapy on Monday. I spent the week in my pajamas, under the covers of my bed, watching TV.

My dad is quite worried and so as my little sister who insists on playing but I just don't have the energy right now. I miss my mom, I hate Cancer (we all do, uh?) I hate the fact that I had to leave school and my friends already graduated. I hate that they are not as close to me as they used to, it's my fault anyway, and the girl I liked, I never really asked her to be my girlfriend and now she's dating someone else. It's just terrible, I don't want to leave my room and I certainly don't want to leave the house. I eat cause I have to, and I did take a shower today, cause I had to.

I just got online now, and I'll be checking my e-mail soon. Thanks for the concern guys, I love you all! I'll come here more often if my bed lets me do so, I'll be online again tonight.

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Aw Sweetie -

Sorry it's been so tough.

Maybe a week in bed hiding was just what you needed - but you need to come out now!

Man, I would drive 500 miles to give you a hug right now, but you're further away than that!

Anything you need, just ask,

Great BIG HUUUUUUUUUUGGGG and many, many prayers,


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Dear Jay..

We haven't met. I came on board shortly after you had withdrawn somewhat from posting. But I was so touched, on many levels, by your posts that I did an archive search and read them all. Why? Throughout the kibbitzing back and forth with your, and now our, friends, I sensed so much love and concern for you. I saw how you had touched their souls and their hearts with your story. And I came to feel the same about you. When you posted that very sad news that you had had a recurrence with mets to the brain...I empathized with you all the way because I think that has happened to me as well (will know for sure this coming Monday). And then today, when you spoke of feeling depressed and staying in bed for the past week...I also was re-reading my own experiences.

So, here I am one more person whose life has been touched and blessed by you. I admire your courage in the face of overwhelming grief and know that you will find that same courage yet again and again.

I read that you are seeing the Doctor on Monday for some therapy. That is good and don't hesitate to re-medicate yourself if he/she suggests that to you. Remember that what you are dealing with is a temporary chemical imbalance in the brain and can be treated. Been there, done that.

There is hope. It's what keeps me going. God Bless

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Be strong.... You are a young, strong man and you have so much in front of you.

I have never posted with you. Everytime that I seem to post you are making another hurdle in your effort to kick the crap out of this disease.

I wish you every blessing in the world. I'm only about 7 years older than you so with everything that I've seen on this board I really believe that not only is my Mother my hero but you are my hero too.

Anytime you want to talk about anything, please write. I know you will overcome this adversity.


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Dear Jay,

I dont know what to say. My heart breaks for you. You really have been through way too much at such a young age. You probably need to get back on the anti depressants. You have to fight Jay, and I know you are probably sick of hearing it, you have to get mentally strong. Dont blame yourself about losing touch with your friends, sometimes people dont know what to do or say to people with cancer so they think staying away is best because they are the ones who cant handle it. It makes their lives easier not to have to deal with it and I say shame on them. Soon as your doing better you can finish school and then from there go onto college and meet new friends. You can do this Jay, I really feel you can beat this.

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