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Therapy? Need Suggestions


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A year ago today my dad was admitted to the hospital never to be released. 34 days in ICU and he passed away. I have been dreading this day all week. Today is also my sister's 23rd birthday so we are going out for drinks later. Tomorrow we will have another celebration with family at a restaraunt(the older relatives, predominately my Dad's side. He was one of 13 and they were very close). So I have to put on my game face (the white-elephant-in-the-room syndrome). This is hard and I don't know how I am going to get through the next month. I am already reliving last year's ordeal:

4/25-Sister's Birthday. Dad admitted.

5/5-Cinco De Mayo. Last time I spoke with Dad. Ventilator, Medically-induced coma until the end.

5/28-Memorial Day. Dad passed away.

I have a history of depression but this may be a little too much for me to handle on my own. For those who have received therapy after your loss, where did you go for help? Psychologist? Grief counselor? Pastoral care? Did it help?



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Rochelle, I am so sorry. I don't have any advice, (because I haven't found any help yet) but I just wanted to tell you that I understand. And that is so true about the white elephant-in-the-room. It's like folks are watching you to see how you're doing. Maybe waiting for you to break down? Or just afraid of what to say to you.



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I also have a history of depression and sometimes find it difficult to know where grief ends and depression begins. Grief is hard enough on its own and wanted to be sure that I wasn't sinking into another depression. I recently decided to seek out a psychologist. I knew she would be qualified enough to help me make the distinction between "normal grief" and a real problem. I've only seen her twice, but so far it seems that what I'm going through is "normal". Just hearing that has helped me to feel better.

I suggest that if you have any doubts that you take the step to see someone soon. Grief is painful enough alone. Don't let it get to the point that you also have to dig yourself out of a depression too.

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I've been involved in grief groups, and about 6 weeks ago started to see a counselor.

I also find comfort in knowing I'm going through a "normal" process. I also find it very helpful to have an objective, professional person to help me navigate all of the new paths I must travel because of my loss. That includes dealing with family and friends, who may not understand how you're handling it all.

I decided to seek out counseling when I felt overwhelmed with everything, and I needed more than the grief group. I think if you're feeling that you need help, then you're ready. I got a recommendation for a counselor from a trusted pastor at a large church, and I've been very, very happy with it.

Just remember, one thing at a time. And it's ok to tell those around you that this is an especially hard time for you.

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I, too, have a history of depression (and toss in a little depression induced psychosis just to make things fun! LOL)and found myself stuggling to know where to go and what to do after Mom died and then my son was born early and extemely ill.

I actually found help with my family physician. I might be lucky in the aspect that she had time to sit and talk with me whenever I needed to run something by her, plus she put me on a different antidepressant than I was on and added something for anxiety. It has helped tremendously to get some help in navigating my grief process.

So, I guess it was like a counselor and a psychiatrist all rolled into one but I know that if she didn't have time/want to help me herself she'd be more than willing to give me some names that might be able to.

Best of luck to you...I hope you find what you need to help you, too.

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Some great advice already from people that have been there. If you think you want to see a therapist try to get a name from someone you trust. Right after John passed away, a friend of mine gave me the name of a woman that had helped her. So I already knew who I would go to if I wanted to see someone (and I may go to her yet). Good luck.


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