Ann Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 The Dog's Diary 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! The Cat's Diary Day 983 of my captivity My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patti B Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueeye Posted April 26, 2008 Share Posted April 26, 2008 I love that one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JocelynM Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 So true, so true. One of my favorite quotes, and I have no idea who said it originally, is "I would like to become half the person my dog thinks I am." We had a golden retriever and we were worshiped, however, our cat kept us in our place. She treated us like servants. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Those of us who own cats can relate to this 100%. In fact my Kitty Quinn turns 1 today (she really is a monster ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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