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My stepdad is not doing well...I need some advice please

Guest canuckwebgrrl

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Guest canuckwebgrrl

I was away for the past few days at a conference, and when I got back yesterday I found out Steve now has mets to spine, and his nodes have gotten worse. He had been having back pain for about 3 weeks, and even though we all knew what it could be (but didn't talk about it), I guess we all convinced ourselves that it was not cancer related. I know how stupid that sounds, but he's had back problems and pain intermittently for many years (as lots of people do). So he's done 4/5 days of rad., and they will decide tomorrow (last rad) if he will restart chemo. No one has said anything about a brain scan (that I know of), & he hasn't had one since the week he was diagnosed back in March. Maybe the oncol. will order one tomorrow, but if not do I suggest he get that done? I really don't want to bring up the possibility, especially if Steve hasn't thought of brain mets as a possibility, but I think that it's better to know and treat if necessary...I really don't know what to do.

As embarassing as this is, I think it's important to note that my mother is not in a position of making decisions or being useful at all in this process, because she is an addict and is retreating into being high all the time now so she can pretend none of this is happening. She couldn't even string a sentence together that anyone would understand when I was there yesterday.

I would greatly appreciate any advice, and any experiences with spine mets in extensive SCLC.

Thank you.

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I am so sorry you are having to be the one to deal not only with your step dad, but also the fact that your mom is not healthy.

I will keep you in my prayers that you are able to carry on with whatever it is you need to do.

Just a thought, maybe not the best, but if your mother is doing drugs, becareful not to let her have access to your stepfathers meds. If it is something that is a possible danger to you, I think you should have her admitted to a treatment program. It would probalby take a committment order to have it done, but you really need her to be straight. It will be difficult to say the least, but sometimes it is the best thing you can do for them and for you.

My heart goes out to you at this time. But do what you have to do. It may be the thing that saves her life.

Take care of yourself, so you can be there for your stepdad.

Much love and warm hugs.


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Chris, so sorry your step dad is having more troubles and that your mother isn't much help at this time. It is good that you are available. On the spine, Lucie had radiation and then was put on Zometa, which helps strengthen bones and hopefully keep other mets from taking residence. You might ask about that. My prayers are with you. Don

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Guest canuckwebgrrl

Thank you so much for your replies.

Don, I appreciate the Zometa info., I will definitely ask about it.

Shirley, without writing a whole novel here, my mother has been abusing perscription medications for 15 years. She turned to these drugs after she went through treatment for alcohol addiction. My sister and I have done everything in our power to help her, including an intervention about 2 years ago. She went into treatment, but continued to abuse as soon as she was out. As a result, at the time of Steve's diagnosis, my sister had not been speaking to my mother for 2 years, although she's completely back in the family now to support Steve. My mother has been using my stepdad's medications for years, so she is probably taking the oxycontin & morphine perscribed to him now. Besides asking for a pump for the morphine, I don't know what else to do. I don't want to futher upset or stress Steve, he is our biggest concern obviously.

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