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My husband has extensive disease SCLC. He is on his third type of chemo since he was diagnosed in July 2007 and just had CyberKnife for some brain mets this week.

Lung cancer is actually number three for him. He had non-hodgkin's lymphoma in the early 80's and bladder cancer a few years ago. He was successfully treated for them, but this one is a different story. Unless God intervenes, there will be no cure.

Now for the good news: He was hospitalized in late January for seizures. We brought him home on Hospice care, with a prognosis of a few days. Well, he rebounded. He decided to pursue more chemo because he was feeling so much better. And his quality of life at this time is quite acceptable. The worst thing for him is that he can't drive anymore. Really ticks him off, it does!

Why am I here? In my family, I am jokingly known as "The Strong One". But as time goes by, I find myself less and less able to live up to that title. But I have such a sense of responsibility to be strong for the rest of the family.

So, I've come to understand that I need to talk with folks who are going through similar experiences. And I like the convenience of the internet. Right now, my time is not my own, so even when I can't leave the house, I can still reach out.

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Welcome to our online family. I know it is hard to be the strong one and the one everything falls on. It's great news that your husband has had such a turn in his disease and his doing better. Hopefully you will have a nice summer. We're here to help you and listen -- so let it out.

You didn't tell us your name.


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Welcome and it sound like Larry also is a strong one, to go through what he has and still be fighting is an amazing feat and I 'm sure your strength has helped. I agree that having this place to share thoughts and know that someone else has kind of been in your shoes is very valuable! Welcome and vent, inquire, question...whatever you need to do, someone here will answer.


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Hi and welcome to this wonderful place of support and hope!! I'm sorry you've reason to find us, but really glad you did!

Sounds like you and Larry had one heck of a heaping plateful of yuckiness (I'm trying to be kind and not use bad words :oops: ...but if a situation deserves them, lung cancer does!)

I remember when Mom finally gave up driving...ticked her off to no end, too! She'd JUST bought a new car a couple months before and then she couldn't drive it!!

"The Strong One"s are here...many, many of us. :wink: Just don't let out the secret that this is where we sometimes find our strength! :wink:

Welcome, again...and please, keep us updated on how you and Larry are doing!!

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Thank you all so much for the warm welcome. Yes, Larry is very strong. I used to refer to him as "a tough old bird". Now, I refer to him as "a tough old goat". :lol: Some days, only his dint of will keeps him going. And I'm (we're) just along for the ride.

Other days, well...I'm ready to kill him myself. :wink:

I don't know. Whether it's brain mets, medications, his German DNA...he's hard to deal with certain days. We have a 14 year old son together and he has two grown daughters and one awesome grandson. Poor dears. They never know what they are going to walk into. He may be totally himself, or he may be a raving maniac, fixated on something quite inconsequential.

Or he might be refusing pain meds because "I don't want to get addicted." Today, he decided that he doesn't want to take his Senna, because his bowel movements come at inconvenient times for him. But, a few days from now, he'll be begging for an enema because he is constipated.

I have hardly worked since he came home from the hospital at the end of January, because he cannot be left alone due to seizure risk. Oldest daughter helps me, but as time goes on, she has become less and less dependable. And I don't blame her. Some days, we, his caretakers, can do absolutely nothing right.

But other days, he is exactly the person I married 27 years ago.

Some days, I can hardly bear to leave him, because he seems so weak, and surely, the end is near. And some days, I just need to get away for a few hours.

My workplace is a solace for me. I work at a Christian School. We have a routine. I come in. I unload my burdens. I work like the dickens for a couple of hours. I offer to quit or "joke" about them letting me go. They tell me to stop all that nonsense and ask me what I need. They tell me I'm an inspiration. What!?! Me!?! How can I possibly be inspiring to anybody? Apparently, I am not being totally honest with them.

I am so very frustrated at times. I know I need to be patient with him, but some days, I find myself snapping at him over his med schedule. Or because he tells me there is no reason he can't drive to the donut shop at 5:00 a.m. "After all, there are hardly any cars on the road at that time." But he has had seizures. He cannot drive. I tell him that it doesn't matter if he can drive. If he gets into an accident that isn't even his fault, it will still be charged to him because he wasn't supposed to be driving. So far, he has listened to me, but I have a fear that he will go while I am sleeping.

***Larry has stage 4 lung cancer. He has mets in his liver, adrenal glands and his brain. But you wouldn't know it by looking at him. He is not on oxygen. His O2 level is a pretty constant 98%. He walks on his own. And I am hanging onto the knot at the end of my rope.***

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Welcome Lynn,

"Larry's Wife"]

In my family, I am jokingly known as "The Strong One". But as time goes by, I find myself less and less able to live up to that title. But I have such a sense of responsibility to be strong for the rest of the family.

I know exactly how you feel. I am that person in my family. Without me everything would fall apart but I don't let anybody know that inside I am falling apart.

I am sure you will find all the hope and support you need here.


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Welcome Lynn-

So glad you found us. You can vent all you want here - everyone understands.

Are you sure Larry is German??? Cause he sure sounds like how my Italian father used to act - LOL :lol::lol: That stubborness will do him well, tho, in this fight and I am sure that is how he has come through so well so far!!!

Let us know how we can help you.

Hugs - Patti

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Oh, Lynn -

You have "walked-the-walk." I recognize your journey all too well.

The meds? The treatments? The age? I don't know either. But, you have shared what is in my heart, some of the time.

Of course, I cannot blame it on the German. Bill is only half German and the other half Irish. LOL So, he can be a half a kvetch but from which?

Thank you for unloading some of your thoughts. I hope it helped you. I know, Lynn, that it certainly helped me and gave me a sense of being "normal."

Even the soothing cry - the shower is the place I go. I can always say the soap got into my eyes. :lol:

Hoping you continue to come here and know that you are not the only one who feels a bit better. This old gal does, as well.


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Hi, Lynn, welcome to the group!

I'm sorry we males can be so difficult. It's not just Larry -- the same can be said for many of us. From childhood we're taught that boys don't cry, that we have to be strong and protect the "weaker sex," that we have to keep things stable when the ladies' emotions are bouncing all over the chart, and lots of other stuff. For most of our lives we can fulfill that role, since we're generally larger and stronger physically and our midlife hormonal changes are less extreme. But we all know, even if we don't admit it, that if we live long enough there will probably come a time when the roles shift and the female is shown to be the stronger gender. Even though I'm still quite capable, I'm starting to see some of that for myself. With much Aloha,


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Hi Lynn,

Welcome. You have found a wonderfully supportive place here. Hank and I started our journey with lung cancer a few months ago. The people that I found here have gotten me through this so far. "We all need somebody to lean on"

Hang in there girl.

All the best,


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Lynn, I am so glad you found this place and you voiced many things that are very similar to my thoughts at times and I have hardly started this journey! My husband has had to give up driving due to large bone met in right shoulder, first he refused to believe it but he has slowly realized it is for the best, I hope Larry does also. Stubborn as Ned says...must be in the male gene! Hang on to that rope and know that many are with you!


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Just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

My dad, who is 70 yes. old, was just diagnosed with SCLC on May 6th. He has already been hospitalized for pain management. Dad is currently going thru radiation treatment and is definitely feeling the effects of treatment. He has two more radiation treatments. Dad starts chemo on Tues., May 27th.


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Well, we had a first, today. Larry's first dose of morphine.

He has been in a lot of pain since his CyberKnife treatment on the 12th. Been blaming it on his sciatica and degenerative discs. But it's been getting steadily worse. He's been taking an occasional Lortab for the pain. Says it helps. Well, the last two days he took two Lortabs instead of his usual one. Offerred him morphine yesterday. Almost took it, decided to give the Lortab a bit more time to kick in. This morning, first thing he said to me was the Lortab wasn't working at all. I offerred the morphine. He accepted. I gave him .25ml at 7:00 a.m.

And I grieved over it! I was really surprised at my reaction, because it has been very frustrating to me that I have medicine available to relieve his pain and he wouldn't accept it. I just don't see any good reason for him to be in pain. But, when he actually accepted it after all this time, well, it just broke my heart.

And Larry, well, he has been very quiet all day. He's not in pain (or so he tells me), but I think maybe he is grieving over it, too.

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Hi Lynn, I just want to welcome you to our family.

You certainly have your hands full. Your Larry seems like quite a fighter and I could imagine how it broke your heart that he took the morphine. Poor guy, I am sure he needed it or he would not have taken it.

Glad you joined us. We are always here for you. So you can vent away all you want.

Keep us updated on Larry, he seems to be going through a down time.

Will send meditation prayers his way.

Again Welcome!


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