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is there a "disgusted" stage of grief?


atlanta1

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Hello everybody - we have a DVD of pictures of Dad - from his childhood, my childhood, vacations, the grandkids with him, etc. This was running at the funeral home during visitation. I have just today been able to sit and watch the whole thing through...but I can't stand to have the music turned on with it I have to mute it. Just can't believe this time last year - he was playing pitch with my 8 year old baseball player son, and giving $1 to my other son each time he scored a soccer goal. Even last July we all went to Daytona Beach, FL - his favorite place in the world. And here we are now - we just had his funeral last Saturday. I feel like I've been on a different planet for the past several months and now that there's no Dr. visits to accompany, no daily call to see how he's doing or going out to eat just because he felt good that day - I just feel kinda lost and am really not interested in work, the news, or anything else except checking in on Mom and caring for my own family. Is there a "disgusted" stage of grief? That's pretty much how I feel - disgusted at the disease itself, disgusted that at times I feel Dad never had a chance as he was dealing with first one thing then another, disgusted that millions are spent on figuring out how monkeys communicate, but very little on lung cancer research, disgusted that people struggle to pay for gas to get to the doctor's office. Maybe I need to go throw something but I just had to vent this morning.

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Oh man,

I'm right there with you. I could have written your exact words 4 years ago when my dad passed away and it was me- checking in and taking care of my mom and going thru the motions of taking care of my family and work responsibilities.

I was disgusted. I still am disgusted to be honest with you when I think about it too hard.

What I try to do is turn that disgust into something productive- either in supporting others with LC or being an advocate and working for funds for a cure. That's a way for me to make his death count for something...otherwise- I'm disgusted!

It's so soon for you- you JUST lost your dad! It's going to take some time and a lot of other stages and phases of grief and learning to live a life without your dad in it before you will know what works best for you.

It's going to be so hard- and we will be here for you. It may seems very far away, but there will come a time when the good memories bring you comfort and you will be able to have smiles and joy in life again. Your dad would want that for you.

I hope there are better days ahead for you. I'm so sorry you lost your dad.

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2 years and 4 months and 28 days Here and I am still disgusted. Not so much mad anymore though. I can sympathize with you on that one all the way!!!!

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Oh sure, there is definately a disgusted stage. Mine is pretty much constant! It varies as to what exactly I'm disgusted with--the disease, the side effects, the fact that my parents are gone, or just stupid people in general. And it's even worse for me because I work in the field and start to go "what's the point!!?!!"

Hugs to you, we understand here what you're going through.

Leslie

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