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Hank is feeling down.

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Hi everybody, hope you had a good weekend. I took a day for myself and went to visit an old friend. A day off from the hospital that is. It was nice.

Hank is still in the hospital, since last Wednesday. The Pneumonia is clearing but it is taking it's time to do so. Meanwhile, Hanks spirits seemed really pretty down today. He wants out of the hospital, but does'nt want to leave until they're absolutely positive the pneumonia is gone. He's concerned about falling behind in his treatment schedule as well. This past Friday would have been his fourth treatment, but now it's going to have to wait until he's recouped enough to handle it.

We talked today somewhat about his feelings about this whole situation, and at this point, I think he's resolved to the idea that this is not going to turn out well. To that I said, we have to remain positive and move forward. But, this is so hard. I am also having the same thoughts. One day positive. the next defeated. Our emotions and thoughts are in a state of constant change. Back and forth. It's exhausting.

I'm hoping that he will be released from the hospital soon. That in itself will make him feel better. But I am really hoping that when he is released from the hospital he will actually be better and continue to get stronger.

Oh well, just want to drop in, say hello, and vent a little.



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Gail, I SO understand where you are coming from.

One day positive. the next defeated. Our emotions and thoughts are in a state of constant change. Back and forth. It's exhausting

That's exactly where Larry and I are right now. He told me this morning that he just realized he is going to have a painful death. I told him that it doesn't have to be that way (he really resists the pain meds - doesn't like the way they make him feel), that we can treat the pain. So he asked for a dose of morphine (his second ever).

....sorrow abounds today.

But tomorrow could be a good day. I sure pray so. Such a roller coaster. :?

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Okay ladies you definitely need to remain positive. I'm sorry your men are not feeling so great but I am sure there are better days ahead. I will be praying that thing turns around soon for Hank and Larry.



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Hi Gail. Well I am glad to hear you took a day for yourself, need to look after yourself through all of this too. I am saddened to hear that hubby is a bit down. I know that feeling all to well, it is just natural to have those days, and I actually think we can bounce back stronger because of them. I hope he gets out of the hospital soon and starts feeling better. Feeling better will help his mental state as well. Take care


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Hi, Gail.

During my treatment last year (concurrent radiation and chemotherapy from 02/07 to 05/07), I was hospitalized four times, each time being rushed into emergency and from there to intensive care, each time looking like it might possibly be my last... all this because I had chosen to gamble on being able to buy more time with aggressive treatment.

Instead of worrying about whether I was going to die, however, what I worried each time about was whether I was going to be able to stay on schedule with my treatments. :?

In the end, I didn't complete my treatments--although I did come close (15 of 16 chemos and 30 of 33 radiation), and when all was said and done I'd bought the time I wanted, which was for my two "memory trips" last summer--the first to SoCal with my grandchildren (Disneyland, etc.) and the second a Mexican cruise with a dozen friends and relatives (that included a "pre-trip" to visit other family).

Naturally, I hoped to buy more time than that (and obviously I have :)), but meeting that interim goal by completing my treatments had become all important to me in the meantime.

In other words, I understand exactly where Hank's coming from. It may not be particularly logical, but it works--for us, if not for our family members and caregivers. :cry:

You two take care (of each other and yourselves!).


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Hi Gail, I am hoping that Hank's mood has improved and that the two of you are in a better mental place now. I envy you that the two of you can "talk" about this situation, so far Dave seems to not want to and I know him well enough to not push too hard. The ups and downs are very hard to take but all we can do is the best we can and hold on to the hope. When in the hospital and those first few days home Dave's attitude was the worst it has been, he was so weak and really felt defeated I think...slowly I would make a big deal out of little improvements and his mood improved, now the week after chemo he is very grouchy and difficult but still fighting! You hang in there and keep making him laugh...


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