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For those of you who have not been having very good days lately and dont feel good at all, I hope tomorrow is better for you and you can somehow enjoy the day.

For those who have family members battling this horrible disease also try to enjoy the day. Your loved one would want you to.

For those of us going through our first holiday without our precious loved one, This is what my son said when I told him I was not going to have Thanksgiving. He sent me an e-mail because he is away at college. Even though PAPA will not be here in person I know he will be watching. I know he would want us to celebrate like we do everyyear. He said having thanksgiving without him will be painful but ignoring it and letting it pass is not part of a viable mourning process. WE have to maintain our traditions, when we alter them they no longer remain traditions. Losing someone we all loved dearly will have an everlasting effect on our family, and in a sense can weaken our family structure, however nothing can weaken our family bond and by sticking together and maintaining tradition we strengthen that bond every year.

Just wanted to share some of his words words with those who are struggling with the holiday as I am. It helped me maybe it will help you.

Also thought you might want to know I am cooking tomorrow.


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Thanks for sharing those words. This is all so painful and my heart just isn't in it but knowing that you're cooking your Thanksgiving dinner encourages me. My thoughts will be with all of us that will be having a rough holiday from the loss of our loved one(s). Happy Thanksgiving to you.


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Your son is SOOOOO right!

When I first found out I had cancer I told my wife that my only worry is that her and the kids will be O.K. I dont mean physically or mentally but that they will carry on. As a person fighting this, my #1 desire is that my family makes what life I have lived on this earth, not be a waste. I want them more than anything to carry on and carry on strong as I would want them to. If they do that and keep me in there hearts, than my life was successful.

I DONT WANT MY FAMILY TO SHUT DOWN. its kind of hard to explain. But I would feel more honored by them carrying on as I would want them to.

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Cathy, you must be very proud of you insightful son-I am sure that he has learned this important life lesson from you, in the way that you raised him.

I hope that you were able to create some nice memories this Thanksgiving, even through your grief. I thought of you and Katie and my other friends here that have been going through the process of getting used to life without someone that was so important to you being there. But I do believe that the spirit of our loved ones that have passed lives on through us.

I remember when my Grandmother died thinking that we would never laugh again. How could we, she was so intrigal in our lives, especially in the holiday festivities. I think my main feeling was that we were somehow betraying her by enjoying our lives despite her physical absence. But I realized that this was not the case at all. I could feel her presence. Just remembering her and feeling the love that I will always have for her-and she for me... I realized that she was with us, she still is.

Your father will always be with you, the love you had for eachother will always exist.

However you are feeling, just please know that there are alot of people here that care, and we want to help you through this-even if it is just to listen. Take care, Cathy, Deb

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