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vodka!!! Who Knew??????


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Vodka...Who knew?!!!!

1. To remove a bandage painlessly,

saturate the bandage with vodka.

The stuff dissolves adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers,

fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking,

let set five minutes and wash clean.

The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses,

simply wipe the lenses with a soft,

clean cloth dampened with vodka.

The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka

and letting your safety razor blade

soak in the alcohol after shaving.

The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on? wine stains,

scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.

6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face

as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo.

The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair,

and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle with vodka

spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9. Pour one-half cup vodka

and one-half cup water into a Ziploc freezer bag

and freeze for a slushy, refreshing ice pack for aches,

pain or black eyes.

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar

with freshly packed lavender flowers,

fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly

and set in the sun for three days.

Strain liquid through a coffee filter,

then apply the tincture to aches and pains.

11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth

to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.

12. To cure foot odor,

wash your feet with vodka.

13. Vodka will disinfect

and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy

to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.

15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth.

Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

And silly me!

I've only been drinking the stuff.

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Randy, Randy, Randy...I used to think so highly of you...Then you post this....

PLEASE NOTE!!!!! DO NOT waste perfectly drinkable vodka on any of these...Watch and learn...

1.) Want to remove a bandaid painlessly...Drink the vodka till you can't feel anything then take the bandaid off.

2.) Why waste time cleaning caulk around the tub...Drink the vodka and believe me, you'll be lucky to see the tub let alone the dirty caulk.

3.) Clean your eyeglasses???? What for??? The only thing better than beer goggles is vodka goggles...Man she looks hot....that is a girl isn't it? Drink the Vodka, everything will look just perfect.

4.) Clean your razor??? Drunks don't shave.

5.) Spray Vodka on Wine Stains...Why the heck are you drinking wine when you have perfectly good vodka sitting there...Give the wine away at the next party you attend, and drink the vodak...Added bonus...Vodka won't stain the carpet.

6.) Clean your face with Vodka??? Look we all know that you can clean the outside of anything to make it look better...I can put new siding on my house, but it's just hiding the termite damage underneath...Start on the inside and work your way out. Drink excessive amounts of vodka in the sun, or other warm location. Eventually, you will begin to sweat vodka through your pores thereby removing the toxins from the inside out. Wipe the sweated out toxins off with whatever your drunken head lands on at the end of the day.

7.) Add to Shampoo??? See number six for cleansing from the inside out. Same will work on the scalp.

8.) Killing bees and wasps??? Get drunk, and they'll be no need to kill anything...Can't we all just get along?

9.) Ok, I'm alright with number nine, as long as after you ice the ache, you add some lime flavoring and drink the lime vodka slushy....

10.) Drink Vodka, you'll have no aches and pains.

11.) Use it on a washcloth to relieve a fever...See number six for inside out rule.

12.) Foot Odor...Refer to # 6 again for the inside out rule, plus, when you're drunk do you really care what your feet smell like?

13.) See rule six for cleansing from the inside out...Plus, Should your drunk butt really be in the water anyway?

14.) Rule 6 AGAIN...Cleanse from the inside out.

15.) Finally a good idea of how to use vodka!!! Through the teeth and over the gums, look out stomach here the vodka comes....

Man was I bored at work today.

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