HELP... SCARED.... NEED ENCOURAGEMENT...

[klooty]

hello everyone. I was wondering if you could share some stories, some experiences with me to help my father cope with his disease. For the past few days it has seemed that his roller coaster is stuck in a valley and it just doesn't seem like its ever gonna come out. Seeing him tired, seeing him in pain hurts so much. I want to make him laugh, I want to see him smile, I want to give him energy so that he can function again and do what he wants to do. I know he doesn't want to sit around in a chair all day and sleep. Its just he is unable to do more than that. He is stuck in an apparent emotional and physical low.

He has stage 4, NSCLC. He has done chemo and radiation. He was given a few months to live. Our faith is the only thing that keeps my family's hopes up. He is 46 years old and the father of 3 boys, 1 girl ranging in the ages of 17-22. He and my mother are to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary on June 1st, 2004. I am the second oldest and only 20 years old.

His friends, our families, past acquaintances always ask how he is doing. I got sick and tired of saying "not bad" and have been saying "not good" for the longest time. Everyone is praying for him. Everyone is thinking about him. Its just that they are not able to fully realize the extent of what he is going through. This is why I turn to you.

I would love nothing more than to give letters of encouragement, well wishes, and prayers to him from people who are actually going through the same things he is going through. However you are affected by this terrible disease please write him. Post a reply, but address it to him... I'd love nothing more for him to know that there are a lot of other people out there in the same situation he is in, who are thinking about him, praying for him, and getting to know him. (even if its just through me) His name is Rick Kloostra, and he is my daddy. I don't ever want to give up.

Thank you all so very much. I know this will mean a lot to him. You are all in my prayers. Take care of yourselves.

[natalie]

Hi Rick,

My mom has lung cancer and was diagnosed back in May. Along with other people on this board, we have been doing lots of research to help you all in your battle of this disease. As I have been reading and my mother's doctor has told me, there are new effective drugs set for FDA approval late December - early January. My mom is currently on Iressa and is starting to gain some of her strength back and her hair is growing back. We are optomistic that the Iressa is going to keep her stable and we are looking forward to hearing about the new drugs. We are going to help your son gather information for you and will do everything we can to offer you all the support you need. If your anything like my mom...you are tough, strong willed, and can beat this. No doctor can determine your future, that's why they call it a medical "practice". You stay strong and know that there are many people going through the same thing as you and know what you are going through. Some days my mom gets depressed because she can't do the things she enjoys and doesn't really enjoy eating as much anymore. She's tired of people asking how she is doing and she's tired of not feeling good.

I can relate to your son...He is proud of you and thinks the world of you and will do anything for you. Let her take care of you in her own way, it helps him to be able to help you.

I will say a special prayer for you.

[lynne]

I am sorry to hear that you are battling this beast. I will offer up my prayers for you to find peace, comfort and strength to face the weeks, months and hopefully years ahead. Stay positive...know that we are there for you in spirit and in prayer.

Please let us know how you are doing....This is a very loving and caring support board.

Lynne

[klooty]

Sorry.. I thought I mentioned it.... I am actually his 20 year old son... Full fledged male... my apologies....

[klooty]

that is all.. now it should be apparent to everyone.. thanks again...

[Karen]

Adam,

Welcome to the best possible place you could find for support. You may need to be the liason for your dad. I did that for my father-in-law and was able to relay a lot of good ideas to him. I would always try to research here first rather than on statistical websites...too depressing. Gotta try and stay positive. Finding this site and asking folks for support from your dad was the best thing you have done in your 20 years here.

Here's a message to your dad:

Rick,

You might want to get online yourself at the Lung Cancer Survivors for Change website and check out the supportive communication coming from folks in your shoes. Do not give up hope! There are so many folks out there who are shaking this monster off, again and again. Please go to this website

www.blochcancer.org

for some very motivating ideas. The man who started it, Dick Bloch, was given only a few months to live MANY years ago.You can print much of the stuff off the website. There is a letter in particular that is quite stirring. Check it out. Keep yourself thinking positively.

I also know someone who had been dx'd with cancer many years ago and was given only a few months. He beat it for over 25 years!!! Saw his kids get married and became a grandpa 5 times. He swore by the positive thinking route and always watching comedies...like at least one every week. I think somewhere on the Bloch website it mentions the power of positive thinking and laughter!

Hang in there and know that many people are praying for you as well as your whole family! If you do nothing else today, check out that website.

God bless,

Karen M.

[Joe B]

Adam,

I am so sorry to hear about the circumstances that you and your family are faced with. I think its important to turn to God and your faith right now to help you through this hard time.

I do believe very firmly in paradise in the form of heaven. Regardless of the number of days that your Dad has (and it may be many more than the doctors say) - I would look at each one as a gift, and try and be there for him even when its difficult. I will say a special prayer for you and your family, and I will ask God to bring all you of you peace and comfort in at this time in your lives.

I can relate in a way, my girls are 15,13,& 11...and at 42... I really want to around for them for a long time.

Best of luck.... just know that He is there for you when you turn to Him... and that you have the prayers of many with you.

God Bless you...

Joe

[Guest]

Hello Rick;

Happy Thanksgiving,

So very sorry you have been diagnosed with this terrible disease. Know that you are not alone. Please join us, you will find very caring and knowledgable people here, but most importantly you will find SURVIVORS,

Like yourself, that plan on giving this disease a run for it's money.

God bless and you will be in my thoughts and prayers,

Bobmc- NSCLC- stage IIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01

" absolutely insist on enjoying life today"

[bobmc]

Oops, did'nt sign on;

And, the family pic was taken 8 weeks after surgery, in the rainforests of Costa Rica.

again welcome and God Bless

Bobmc- NSCLC- stageIIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01

"absolutely insist on enjoying life today"

[Debaroo]

Hello Adam and Rick. I am so glad that you found this board-I know that it has been a Godsend for me for the past-well-almost two years now.

In January 2004 my Daddy will celebrate his two year anniversary since his diagnosis with extensive NSCLC...thats right, I said celebrate!! He has surpassed the statistics, and continues to amaze his family and his doctors-both of which think he is a pretty incredable man.

I have to say that Daddys attitude has much to do with how he has fared during this battle. And this message board has been an intrigal part of his fight-the information and support that I have recieved here have been INVALUABLE!! PRICELESS!!

I hope that you know that there are alot of people here that will be praying for you and looking for you posts to see how everything is going. If you have any questions, this is a great place to get some answers-advice-and just good old support. Take care, Deb

[stephnewyork34]

Hi Adam,

Well it does suck that you are going through this. I hate cancer, both my folks have it. My dad "only" has bladder cancer and so it is more of a nuisiance than a threat, but my Mom, Judy B on this board, has non-small cell lung cancer and it is a rollar coaster ride, and all I can say from experince is that it does get better and you have come to the right place. Would your Dad be interested in coming on the board?

Anyhow, the support here is amazing and I wouldn't be able to handle it without these folks.

And I know what you mean about when people ask about it. "How's your Mom/Dad?" I almost cringe when I hear it because I wonder, "do they really want to know?" or do the feel like they 'have' to ask me. Are they hoping that I won't tell them how hard it is?, or are they secrectly hoping I just smile and walk by?or do they have pity on me, "poor girl" etc. Sure there are the ones who really care, but also,I have just recently lost a best friend of 10 years because she said it is now hard to be my friend and she feels as if she is going through this with my family, and it is too hard for her.

Oddly, (for such a strong reaction from a best friend) my Mom is doing really well, and is a fighter, but it is those down swoops on the rollar coaster ride that bring me down and it is hard. Also sometimes when I say she is fine, they roll their eyes, like "yeah right she has lung cancer"

so I have learned that you can't please people and you have to just say whatever comes to mind when they ask and know who really cares and who is just asking to ask. Ya know???

Anyhow you should get your Dad Lance Armstrong's first book, "its not about the bike" it is sooo inspiring and it will help you all have hope and really that is the most important thing.

I wish I could help more, and I will send positive thoughts your way., Hang in there and welcome, this is a great place for support.

Big Hugs

Stephanie

[natalie]

Hi Adam, sorry about my post... I don't know why I assumed! I edited it accordingly. It's a pleasure to meet you and I hope we can help you and your Dad through this ordeal. I agree with Stephanie...the Lance Armstrong book really inspired my mom and whenever she gets down I remind her of his battle with his cancer and it whips her back in fight mode.

Take Care.

[Snowflake]

Rick,

Read the following and refer to it often. Never, EVER quit.

Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit--

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns;

And many a fellow turns about

When he might have won, had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow--

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man;

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit;

It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

--Leo Piggott, 1931

[s_meksvanh]

Rick,

I am a dad - just like you. I have lung cancer - just like you. I have felt like crap physically, emotionally and spiritually - just like you. I was told by my doctors that I had weeks to live - just like you. I wanted to scream, to shout, to cry, to beg, to deny - just like you. But, just like me, you can choose to live. Just like me, you can discover that it is how you have lived and not how you died that matters. And in the end, just like me, you will come to realize that only God decides who lives and who dies and whether your work in this world was faithfully accomplished. You have yet much to do. Do not squander the moments that could be. Choose to live, to laugh, and to reach beyond yourself - to those who love you. Know that God will never give you more this day than you can bear. God loves you - He always have - and He always will.