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Tonight, I'm hurting


Sheri

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I’m writing my feelings down for my own self-therapy . Please bear with me and offer suggestions if you have any. I’ve done the egg-toss thing Randy :lol:

I’m still suffering a great loss. Not only was my Dad my Dad but he really was better than my best friend. I was a part of him, we thought alike; we looked alike and developed a dependency on each other to get us through the rough spots. He was married 3 times and I accepted the enhancing herbs/paraphernalia stuff he would order from pop-up’s at my address. I was the only one he could trust. :wink:

He was my sounding board as I was for him. Together we were always able to come up with the greatest solutions, well at least in our minds. We never caused major damage, so I would say we were successful.

My life has changed so much since his death. I have a new job that fell in my lap, I love it but my teenager is contributing to my grief. I need him so badly. There is noone that could take his place.

I’ve lost a pea in my pod.

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I'm so sorry you are hurting so bad. Dad/Daughter relationships are very unique-I also am very close to my Dad and can tell him pretty much anything. I don't have any advice but wanted to answer your post.

Dar

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Sheri,

I'm so sorry for your loss and for what you're feeling. I can very much relate to losing the one person on earth who really "gets" you.

This isn't easy advice, but for myself I'm realizing that I need to learn to stand on my own. I also need to embrace other people in my life, seek new people out, and allow others to give me some of those elements I'm missing so much. It takes time, effort, discomfort, and openness. It comes in unfamiliar forms that I don't always recognize. Sometimes I'm stubborn and have the, "but I don't WANT to have to rebuild my life" attitude (understandable). But when I realize that's not helping me, I try to feel the feelings, acknowledge the lonliness, and take a little step. And each time I take a little step, I feel stronger and can sometimes even see a new life taking shape -- ever so slowly (and quite often painfully).

Perhaps seeing a counselor with your daughter might help tht relationship?

Hugs,

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I can only repeat the words that Terri said. It is hard to lose the one person who not only knows you best but accepts you as you are. Life can be cruel but it does go on after the loss of a loved one. Just know that someday the pain will not consume you all of the time. I'm not saying that it still won't hurt but it does change and you do move forward even if once in a while you take a giant step backwards.

Be good to yourself but grieve when you need to. The more you try to hold it off the harder it is. It takes time, life and the love of the person that you lost as well as your love for him. Those things help you through the worse times. Nothing can erase the losss but those things can make you start to feel how lucky you were to have that person in your life despite the pain now.

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I am so sorry you are in so much pain. I too lost my best friend when I lost my Mom 6 months ago. Tomorrow will be 1.5 years since losing my Dad. I was his punkin' and my Mom's "little one" even though I am 35 years old.

I wish I had some words of advice...but I don't. I just wanted to let you know that I cared and I understand. I recently started on antidepressants and it has helped tremendously. It's not the answer for everyone and I never dreamed it would be for me, but it has stopped me from crying DAILY.

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(((Sheri)))

It's ok to hurt. And you will hurt for a long time. I agree so much with what Teri wrote in her post. I don't have any magic words and I struggle a lot with so many emotions tangled up in my grieving process STILL that I don't know if I can help- other than to say I really understand....

I hope things get gentler on you really soon.

We are here for you.

(((hugs)))

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