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What they taught us


teriw

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I had reason to be struck by something yesterday. I realized that I am a survivor. I know it is in large part due to Bill's place in my life, and the things he taught me -- by example, by his past, by his fight with cancer, and by his unbelievable faith and grace and strength in his last days.

He taught me many things I will carry on forever, but today I'm thankful that he not only taught me how to survive, but I know now that he always knew I would -- and in that he is still teaching me to believe in myself. Bless him.

I was wondering if you all might like to share one big thing you're realizing that your loved ones who are gone taught you. Maybe something you've known all along, maybe something that only just occurred to you.

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Teri,

Great topic. So many things I could share.

The most important thing Charlie taught me is to "stop and smell the roses." He always took time to enjoy nature especially his own peace of nature at the Mynatt estate. Whether it was mowing grass, raking leaves, tending to the pool, he always had a peace about him...he was in his element. I have always had a tendency to run at full speed and not slow down to really notice and enjoy things around me. I now try to look for the beauty of each day like I never did before. Don't know if this makes much sense to anyone else but me. Take care.

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Teri ,

I would have to say that Mike taught me about acceptance. He so gracefully and without question accepted and dealt with everything that happened to him. He had strong faith that if he did his best that God would take care of the rest. He never complained and he made the best of each day. If only I could follow his example.

Thank you for writing this post because it really helps to be able to share my feelings and also a part of what was the best part of me... my wonderful husband.

Sue

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Its not about the money Honey!! We never had a lot of money but enough to get by on. Too many place emphasis on material things at holidays and not enough on the reason for the season. Sold both vehicles to rent a truck to move up here from Florida with Uhaul.

Also Teri I think of myself as a caregiver survivor

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Anyone who knows me well will tell you I'm clumsy, not graceful. They would probably also say I'm sometimes loud, rowdy and a tad controlling. I'm going to follow this subject looking in you caregivers responses for tips about how to live my life. Whenever I go and however I go, from cancer or something else, my hope is that I'll leave a legacy that prompts such wonderful comments from those I love.

Judy in Key West

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The greatest life lesson I learned from my Mom was that it's ok to be different. As a kid, we all want to do that everybody else is doing to "fit in." My Mom always told me to be me and not everybody else. It paid off. I'm not afraid to go after what I want, even if it's not what anybody else is going after. And, I'm not afraid to say no to external pressures.

I'm really thankful that my Mom gave me this. I know it's going to get me where I need to be in life.

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Thanks Teri -- this is a wonderful idea.

For my Dad -- When my Mom passed 23 years ago, I've learned that I didn't have a clue about the pain he went through for five years after losing her. In turn, it taught me not expect that my kids could possibly understand what my life is like without Tony. A new lesson from an old loss. Also a huge thanks to both of my folks for teaching me to be a "can-do" kind of gal, because it's all on my shoulders now!

For my beloved Tony -- At a family gathering on Sunday a comment from one of my brothers sums it up. He said, "I always was so amazed at how laid back and what an upbeat attitude Tony had all the time." It was a small part of an ongoing revelation for me of how many lives Tony touched.

I'm on board with Sue -- Tony was always so accepting and he was the first person I heard say "it is what it is" about his cancer. He never, ever was down, complained, or didn't try to do for himself. I'm trying to learn to not be a whiner because he certainly wasn't. He was the epitome of grace under fire and I'm still trying to learn the grace that he exemplified. I find myself questioning whether I am as strong as I always thought I was, or was I strong because I knew I had Tony beside me my whole adult life. That remains to be seen. I see a lot of what he taught me, but still struggle to integrate it as part of who I am.

Oh -- just remembered (duh), he did teach me not to give a crap about what others thought of you and THAT I have been able to integrate! :wink:

Welthy

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My mum taught us all to laugh. It was her answer to everything. Life was just funny to her, even the sad parts, you just laugh while you cry. I joke with Kelly sometimes that I wonder if her doctors think they need a psych consult for us, as so often they come into the exam room while she and I are laughing hysterically over something, often cancer-related. Not that we haven't had our share of tears since her diagnosis, but we always still find a reason to laugh.

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I could write a BOOK of Randyisms.

Re: careers "Nothing's a jail sentence"

Re: Life "Live every day like it's your first, not your last"

Re: Babies "If they cry pick them up, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be held"

Re: Raising children "Tell them you love them whether they screw up or succeed"

Re: jerky people "F--- them"

She taught me to be happy with a simple life.

She taught me how to love my child.

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So many lessons I guess, from all those I've loved and lost. My parents, and those I grew to love here over the last 5 1/2 years. Many lessons... and I am still learning.

I'm stronger than I ever knew...and "things" are just things...

My mom taught me to say what I mean and do what I say and that your word is equal to a promise- never break it. She taught me to depend on no one -yet to appreciate everyone. She was a true matriarch...I miss her.

My dad taught me about not sweating the small stuff- ever!

Except for the donuts, daddy and Frank Lamb were a bit alike in that picture of Franks...(dog, football on TV and a beer)..... Gosh I miss them.

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This really is a good topic.

Johnny taught me to believe in myself. He taught me that I have not only strength but value as a person. I was so young when we first met that he taught me a life lesson that I never forgot. He told me that you have to look beyond the surface to see both people and things. In other words he really practiced the old adage about not jusdging a book by it's cover.

He was also trying to teach me to reliax. I was always on the go or doing something. I could never just sit and enjoy my surroundings or the people that I have loved. He was teaching and I was learning but until the past few months I never did learn to just relax for a while. I only wish I had done that sooner and spent more time just being with him than doing for him. That is what he wanted most of all.

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