simplyklb Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 Hi All, I have a problem and I need to know how to address it. Two of my brothers have kids. My brother who lives here has two kids, 13 and 9. My youngest brother has a daughter who is 12. The daughter does not stay at his house when it is my brother's weekend to have her. She stays here. If the kids are over here, I have to tend to their care in addition to my parents. They are not my kids! I love my nieces but they are not my kids. I tried to tell my mom it is too tiring to tend to the kids. She's like they are no problem. Who is running the household here???? I am tired of picking up after the kids. I tell them to clean up after themselves. I have to cook for them and manage all the other stuff. The 13 yr. old is super about helping me out. The 9 year old leaves messes for me. She's terrible about picking up after herself. The 12 year old has no concept of cleaning up... Her mother's a slob as is the other two kids' mom. I want the kids around so they can spend timer with their grandparents but I do not want the additional work for me. Kristi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 Boy are you between a rock and a hard place...there is no simple solution for you. Someone just has to lay down the law..either to the kids or the parents...unfortunately that someone is probably you. I'm sure thats not what you wanted to hear but that maybe your only choice..Good luck..hope you can work it out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandraL Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 Yup...way too much on your plate Kristy. And you have been doing it for way too long. Shock others and put your foot down....just say "no". Hard to do, you have always done for everyone else....time to put yourself first...go small first on what you won't do, explain why and move on to bigger things. After you say "no" the first time, it might just shock others enough to realize you have had quite enough. It's not the kids fault though...deal with the adults. Best of luck Sandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simplyklb Posted June 26, 2008 Author Share Posted June 26, 2008 My mom does not get it. She hates the advice that I get form online and from friends in real life. If it weren't for places like here and cancerforums.net and my friends and sister-in-law, I would have never known what to expect. I am overwhelmed because of my mom and brothers. My dad is a very difficult person to deal with even when he doesn't have cancer. My mom told me that I should not worry about being scared and try to be more positive. I try to be positive but it is hard when you are overwhelmed. BTW, I am not a drama queen (got accused of that in another forum). My best friend heard me cry on the phone for the first time in 20 years today. Kristi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bev'sSister Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 I would talk to the brother, that does not live there, and work something out with him..so that he at least has his kid at his house some of the time...and maybe give you a break. Also, the brother who lives there..is he unable to care for his kids? Why are you having to do this. There are summer camps and places they could be attending to give you a break during in the day. If you weren't caring for them, he would have to find someone else to take care of them, wouldn't he? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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