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The Hole Left Behind


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Earlier today I was talking to my friend about the giant hole left behind when someone we love is gone. She shared that when she comes to my home, she feels Bill's absence as much as she ever felt his presence. It's so true. It's as if their big, beautiful spirit leaves an immortal footprint that isn't visible, but is always felt. I am nearing the one year mark for losing my Bill, which is simply unbelievable to me. I am only now starting to understand the wisdom some of you imparted when you shared with me that you don't get over grief, you learn to live with it. It becomes part of who you are, and who you will become. And likewise, the hole left behind is never filled in or reduced -- it's just that you learn to live with its presence. You eventually build new elements of your life around it and I imagine it becomes less prominent over time, yet it's always there. Oh, what an immense hole it is!

p.s. One of Bill's favorite writers was Charles Dickens (in fact, it is how our Great Dane, Mrs. Dickens got her name!). One of his quotes expresses this so eloquently: "Life is made of ever so many partings welded together."

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Teri-I remember when Bill and my Mom were getting the same treatments done this time last year and then him passing away. My Mom would ask about him and how he was doing and then I had to tell her he passed away.

Now my Mom is gone too.

You lost your husband/soul mate and I lost my Mom/Best Friend-such different partners to each of us but yet we all grieve for the same loss in our life.

Take Care


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I so relate to your post. One of the things that I find myself turning over in my mind--is that the absence is a presence...as you said, an immortal footprint...and the loss has its own structure and form...

Loss seems to have its own physics.


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Thank you for sharing your thoughts . I can relate to so much of what you say and it helps to know that I'm not alone in how I feel. I am forever asking myself "is this normal?" When people, such as yourself express their their thoughts and feelings so well, it's very therapeutic for people like me. I hope it helps you as well.



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